Paris Jokes / Recent Jokes
The mayor of Las Vegas declared August 29th to be Paris Hilton Day, making the city's new slogan -
"What happens in Vegas stays in your immune system and can be transmitted through direct contact with bodily fluids such as blood, semen, vaginal fluids and breast milk."
For each pair of Google searches, choose the one that returns the greater number of search results.*
1) a. "anal fissures" b. "vaginal itching"
2) a. "Blacks are stupid" b. "Jews control the media"
3) a. "Paris Hilton" & "dumb ass" b. "Paris Hilton" & "skank"
4) a. "dirty Sanchez" b. "rusty trombone"
5) a. "hot Asian teens" b. "fat girls naked"
6) a. "Janet Reno is sexy" b. "Rosie O'Donnell is sexy"
7) a. "Michael Jackson" & "pedophile" b. "Whitney Houston" & "crackhead"
*search results as of August 20, 2006, 2:35 EDT
answers: 1)a 2)b 3)b 4)a 5)b 6)a 7)a
Scenario: International Summit in Paris.
Boris Yeltsin, Bill Clinton & Ernesto Zedillo (Mexican President).
The waiter ask "le apperitive?"
All of them answer "oui!"
The waiter looks at Zedillo "Le tequila?"
Zedillo: "oui!"
The waiter looks at Yeltsin "Le vodka?"
Yeltsin: "oui!"
Finally the waiter looks at Clinton "Le whisky?"
Clinton: "DON'T MENTION THAT BITCH"
You look older than you really are. You're racist. Your parents are scared of anyone that is black. Your parents dog on Mexicans and Blacks You know you're superior to other Asians. Your parents think you're 12 when you're really 18. When you go out to buy clothes you have to buy them 3 sizes too big for you to grow in and for any younger brother or sister to have for Christmas a few years down the line. At least one of your parents are in a self owned business like Laundromat, Nails, or Apartments. If they own apartments they rent only to Asian families... never blacks. Guys: you sit on your butt all day. Girls: you do everything while your man sits on his butt. Guys: you have a nice variety of white and black shirts, blue and black jeans and slacks. You cuss out anyone in Vietnamese that gets you pissed off. Your parents think you're the worst kid. Your parents compare you to 4. 5 nerds and call you stupid. You watch Vietnamese translated movies that are 30 tapes long. You listen to more...
Geico needs to stop picking on cavemen,and replace them with Paris Hilton.The ad would read:Geico,so easy it's like doing Paris Hilton.
The Immense Consequences
The death under any circumstances of a member of the Royal Family would be
a cause for sadness. Had anyone made a list of those whose death might
have been anticipated, Princess Diana's name would have been last on it,
hence the worldwide shock and outpouring of grief: disbelief, anger,
analysis, sadness and perhaps the reluctant beginnings of acceptance.
Strong emotions would have been triggered had any Royal been even slightly
injured in an accident. The sudden, total loss of Diana, Princess of
Wales in a violent car crash is one of the greatest national tragedies to
befall Britain since the Second World War.
The memory of August 31, 1997 will long remain in people's minds: first
we saw the gruesome wreckage of the Mercedes after hitting an underpass
wall at high speed following a reckless chase through Paris from the Place
Vendome to the Pont De L'Alma. By strange twists of fate, the more...