Park Jokes / Recent Jokes
Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting in that park every sunny day, for over 12 years... chatting, and enjoying each others friendship. One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says,... "Please don't be angry with me dear, but I am embarrassed, after all these years... What is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't." The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothing for 2 full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says..."How soon do you have to know?"
Two very elderly ladies were enjoying the sunshine on a park bench in Miami. They had been meeting in that park every sunny day, for over 12 years... chatting, and enjoying each others friendship.
One day, the younger of the two ladies, turns to the other and says,... "Please don't be angry with me dear, but I am embarrassed, after all these years... What is your name? I am trying to remember, but I just can't."
The older friend stares at her, looking very distressed, says nothing for 2 full minutes, and finally with tearful eyes, says...
"How soon do you have to know?"
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. - A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n. - What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. - You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but he "made the dinner".
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. - Gotta get married in a church.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. - You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say focus... breathe... push..."
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. - An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. - A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&M's.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. - The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. - To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery list more...
Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet. Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman. Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner." Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them. Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church. Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks. Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms. Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game. Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase. Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store. Hair Dresser more...
A police car pulls up in front of grandma Bessie's house, and grandpa Morris gets out. The polite policeman explained that this elderly gentleman said that he was lost in the park...and couldn't find his way home. " Oy Morris ", said grandma, " You've been going to that park for over 30 years! So how could you get lost? " Leaning close to grandma, so that the policeman couldn't hear. Morris whispered, " I wasn't lost.....I was just too tired to walk home."
Similarities BRA and BAR
Both are drinking joints. Both have restriction time on closing and opening timings Both are flashy. When open, both drive men mad.
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Why women wear undergarments with flowers printed on them?
To pay tribute to men who got buried under them
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Why was the sardar arrested in the political rally?
Because he saw a lady journalist going with a badge on her chest which said' PRESS' and he did
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There are 3 Male and 1 Female pencils in a box.
The Female pencil got pregnant! !
Which Male pencil is responsible?
THE ONE WITHOUT THE RUBBER
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Three Roosters: normal, retarded and a gay.
Normal: cock-a-doodle-dooo! !!
Retarded: doodle-cock-a-dooo! !!
Gay: any-cock-will more...