Parker Jokes

The Simpson's invited their new neighbors the Parkers over to dinner. During dinner Mr Simpson asked Mr Parker what he did for a living.
4 year old Billy Parker jumped in and said
" Daddy is a fisherman!"
To which Mrs Parker replied" Billy why do say that? Your daddy is a stock broker not a fisherman."
"No Mom. Everytime we visit dad at work and he hangs up the phone he laughs, rubs his hands together and says I just caught another fish."

Mr. Parker saw his son`s shiner and demanded, "Jimmy, who gave you that black eye?"
"No one," replied the spunky child. "I had to fight for it."

When ladies engage in thrust and counterthrust, verbal that is, the pointed barbs may be more delicate but they are no less deadly.
Most of her adversaries learned that it was dangerous to challenge Dorothy Parker, but there were many foolhearty ones who tried. On one occasion Miss Parker and Clara Booth Luce met in front of a revolving door. The poetic Miss Parker, who was both in a daze and in a hurry, entered first.
"After you, my dear," purred Mrs. Luce, "age before beauty, you know"
"Yes", replied Miss Parker, "and pearls before swine."

Albert Garcia Jr. sued the state in 1992 because the Ely State Prison began delivering his legal mail from 9 p. m. to 10 p. m. He claimed the delivery time interfered with his sleeping pattern.
Kenneth Parker sued the state because he ordered two jars of chunky peanut butter from the prison canteen at Nevada State Prison in 1989 but received one jar of chunky and one jar of creamy peanut butter. While Parker was later given the peanut butter he requested, he still pursued the case, and it was later dismissed.
Randall Wildeman sued the state in 1991 because a Nevada State Prison officer destroyed the bras and bikini panties he had in his cell. Wildeman claimed he was making women's clothing to be sent as gifts.
Michael Sims sued the state in 1994 on the grounds that a prison guard at the Ely State Prison was calling him names. Sims said the guard called him a "faggot" and a "snitch" and put him in a life-threatening situation.
Donald Ferris sued more...

In July, Diane Parker accompanied her husband, Richard W. Parker, (who had been accused of drug trafficking) to federal court in Los Angeles.

According to friends, Diane was so supportive that she had come prepared to put up her investment property and her mother's townhouse to make Richard's bail.

However, the prosecutor began reciting to the judge facts about Richard's double life that included a mistress and a safe house, and Diane's expression changed dramatically.

She removed her wedding ring with a flourish, walked out of court, immediately drove to an Orange County office where the mistress worked, and punched her several times before being restrained.