Parody Jokes / Recent Jokes

In the spirit of this new post-entertainment entertainment era, where the coverage of events and product ends up more enjoyable than what is actually being covered, NEW YORK OBSERVER critic Rex Reed on Oliver Stone's new one U-TURN:

' No amount of St. John's Wort will get you through U TURN. You need stronger stuff, since it's a movie so stupefyingly bad it seems to have been made by people stoned on Prozac and helium. Not so much directed as hallucinated by madman Oliver Stone, this lurid, violent and pretentious cross between BLUE VELVET and DUEL IN THE SUN is not as much fun as it sounds... The cinematography is ugly, the actors look embalmed (especially Nick Nolte, who resembles the head of a centipede), the writing is uniformly lousy. It seems to have been made by an idiot savant... Vultures circle overhead in every scene while it just lays there stinking... What U TURN is, really, is an unmitigated pile of crap -- and one of the worst non-movies ever made.' ---Rex Reed

NO JOKE!! MUST READ!!! WARNING!
PLEASE READ IMMEDIATELY! THIS IS SERIOUS!

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If you get an envelope from a company called the Internal Revenue Service,' DO NOT OPEN IT! This group operates a scam around this time every year.

Their letter claims that you owe them money, which they will take and use to pay for the operation of essential functions of the United States government. This is untrue! The money the IRS collects is used to fund various inefficient and pointless social engineering projects.

This organization has ties to another shady outfit called the Social Security Administration, who claim to take money from your regular paychecks and save it for your retirement. In truth, the SSA uses the money to pay for the same misguided make-work projects the IRS helps mastermind.

These scam artists have bilked honest, hard working Americans out of billions of more...

Editor's Note: I'll warn you, it's in fairly bad taste.

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"Space Odd-Do-Ti" sung to David Bowie's "Space Oddity"

Ground control to Father John
Ground control to Father John
Put your purple shrouds and clean white Nikes on
Ground control to Father John
Commencing reboot, PC's on
Check our Web page and may Ti's love be with you

(lift-off)

This is Ground Control to Father John
We've all had alcohol
Mixed with applesauce and phenol-barbitol
Now it's time to just lie down and end it all

This is Father John to Ground Control
I'll castrate all the men
And rejoin our UFO and alien friend
And we can't wait' til Hale-Bopp returns again

For Rio's speaking for the camera
Far beyond insane
Planet Earth is due for a Y2K review

(break, instrumental)

Though I'm past 100 million more...

A Beatle's Computer Parody

Eleanor Rigby
-------------
Eleanor Rigby
Sits at the keyboard
And waits for a line on the screen
Lives in a dream
Waits for a signal
Finding some code
That will make the machine do some more.
What is it for?

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Guru Mackenzie
Typing the lines of a program that no one will run;
Isn't it fun?
Look at him working,
Munching some chips as he waits for the code to compile;
It takes a while...

All the lonely users, where do they all come from?
All the lonely users, why does it take so long?

Eleanor Rigby
Crashes the system and loses 6 hours of work;
Feels like a jerk.
Guru MacKenzie
Wiping the crumbs off the keys as he types in the code;
Nothing will load.

All the lonely users, where do they all come more...

A Beatle's Computer Parody

Unix Man
--------
He's a real UNIX Man
Sitting in his UNIX LAN
Making all his UNIX. plans
For nobody.

Knows the blocksize from du(1)
Cares not where /dev/null goes to
Isn't he a bit like you
And me?

UNIX Man, please listen(2)
My lpd(8) is missin'
UNIX Man
The wo-o-o-orld is at(1) your command.

He's as wise as he can be
Uses lex and yacc and C
UNIX Man, can you help me
At all?

UNIX Man, don't worry
Test with time(1), don't hurry
UNIX Man
The new kernel boots, just like you had planned.

He's a real UNIX Man
Sitting in his UNIX LAN
Making all his UNIX. plans
For nobody. ..
Making all his UNIX. plans
For nobody.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown and now he's dead.

Hickory Dickory Dock,
The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The mouse fell down,
And he escaped with minor head injuries.

Little Miss Muffet,
Sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and waye.
A spider came down and sat on the ground
And Miss Muffet squished him with a big ole' frying pan.

A Beatle's Computer Parody

Write in C (''Let it Be'')
----------
When I find my code in tons of trouble,
Friends and colleagues come to me,
Speaking words of wisdom:
' 'Write in C.''

As the deadline fast approaches,
And bugs are all that I can see,
Somewhere, someone whispers:
' 'Write in C.''

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
LOGO's dead and buried,
Write in C.

I used to write a lot of FORTRAN,
For science it worked flawlessly.
Try using it for graphics!
Write in C.

If you've just spent nearly 30 hours,
Debugging some assembly,
Soon you will be glad to
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C,
Write in C, yeah, Write in C.
BASIC's not the answer.
Write in C.

Write in C, Write in C
Write in C, oh, Write in C.
Pascal won't quite cut it.
Write in C.