Partial Jokes

In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, PresidingWile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-vs. - Acme Company, DefendantOpening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, more...

WILE E. COYOTE, Plaintiff v. s. THE ACME COMPANY, INC., Defendant In the United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B191294, Judge Joan Kujava, Presiding Plaintiff, Mr. Wiley E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, certain products which did cause him bodily injury due to more...

10. Marrying a blond is a sin. Making love to a blond is a partial sin.

9. Pre-marital sex is a sin. Marital sex is a partial sin.

8. Taking dowry is a sin. Giving dowry is a partial sin.

7. Bullying one's wife is a sin. Having to submit is a partial sin.

6. Gambling is a sin. Playing cards is a partial sin.

5. Drinking is a sin. Smoking is a partial sin.

4. Eating beef is a sin. Eating pork is a partial sin.

3. Hurting a cow is a sin. Hurting insects is a partial sin.

2. Not phoning home is a sin. Running up a huge bill is a partial sin.

1. Forgetting first language is a sin. Speaking with an accent is a partial sin.

Partial DosageAn elderly gentleman went to the local drug store and asked thepharmacist for Viagra. The pharmacist said "That's no problem. Howmany do you want?"The man answered, "Just a few, maybe 4, but cut each one in 4 pieces."The pharmacist said, "That won't do you any good."The elderly gentleman said, "That's alright. I don't need them for sexanymore as I am over 80 years old. I just want it to stick out far enough so I don't pee on my shoes."

10. Marrying a blond is a sin. Making love to a blond is a partial sin. 9. Pre-marital sex is a sin. Marital sex is a partial sin. 8. Taking dowry is a sin. Giving dowry is a partial sin. 7. Bullying one's wife is a sin. Having to submit is a partial sin. 6. Gambling is a sin. Playing cards is a partial sin. 5. Drinking is a sin. Smoking is a partial sin. 4. Eating beef is a sin. Eating pork is a partial sin. 3. Hurting a cow is a sin. Hurting insects is a partial sin. 2. Not phoning home is a sin. Running up a huge bill is a partial sin. 1. Forgetting first language is a sin. Speaking with an accent is a partial sin.