Partner Jokes / Recent Jokes
A junior partner in a firm was sent to a far-away state to represent a long-term client accused of robbery. After days of trial, the case was won, the client acquitted and released. Excited about his success, the attorney telegraphed the firm: "Justice prevailed."
The senior partner replied in haste: "Appeal immediately."
Sex in a boat - oar-gasms. Sex with a nerd - dork-gasms. Sex at the entrance to your house - door-gasms. Sex on carpet or linoleum - floor-gasms. Sex at the supermarket - store-gasms. Sex at a Steven King Movie - horror-gasms. Sex with a prostitute - whore-gasms. Sex with an accountant - bore-gasms. Sex while sleeping - snore-gasms. Sex with 'Arthur' - Dudley Moore-gasms. Sex with cartoon donkeys - Eyeore-gasms. Sex while broke - poor-gasms. Sex with a lion - roar-gasms. Sex for hours and hours on end - sore-gasms. Sex on a golf course - fore-gasms. Sex with a nymphomaniac (or Ritzi) - more-gasms. Sex in a gold mine - ore-gasms. Sex with a dermatologist - pore-gasms. Sex with a politician - Al Gore-gasms. Sex with Chocolate, marshmallows, and graham crackers - s'more-gasms. Sex with a bullfighter - toreador-gasms. Sex with a masked man carrying a sword - zorro-gasms. Sex on the beach - shore-gasms. Sex at an all-you-can-eat buffet - smorgasbord-gasms. Sex on a cruise ship deck - more...
If Dear Abby Was A Man...
Q: My fiance still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will not be faithful.
A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behaviour - and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his more...
If Dear Abby Was A Man...Q: My fiance still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will not be faithful.A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.A: This is perfectly natural behaviour - and it should be encouraged. The man is a hunter and he needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behaviour.Q: My husband more...
Signs Your Partner Needs A Vacation9. Every Tuesday he insists it's his turn to be the siren. 8. He wants to transfer to a K-9 unit because he thinks he'd look good in a collar. 7. He wants you to call him "Judge Dredd", and he insists that all suspects should be executed right there on the spot. 6. He talk to himself. Half of him is the "good cop", and the other half is the "bad cop". 5. He keeps asking you if his bullet proof vest makes him look fat. 4. He is exchanging donut recipes with complete strangers. 3. The perpetrators beg him to stop talking about his relationship troubles. 2. He wants to hear less talk and more music on the police channel. 1. He keeps handcuffing himself by accident!!
A guy is standing over his tee shot, looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed.
His partner says, "What's taking so long?"
The first guy replies, "My wife is on the clubhouse porch, so I want to make a perfect shot."
His partner says, "Forget it... you'll never hit her from here."
A guy stood over his tee shot for what seemed an eternity; looking up, looking down, measuring the distance, figuring the wind direction and speed, driving his partner nuts.
Finally his exasperated partner says, "What's taking so long? Hit the blasted ball!"
The guy answers, "My wife is up there watching me from the clubhouse. I want to make this a perfect shot."
"Forget it, man! You don't stand a chance of hitting her from here!"