Passenger Jokes / Recent Jokes
A tourist is picked up by a cabbie in New York on a dark night.The passenger taps the driver on the shoulder to ask him something.The driver screams, loses control of the car, nearly hits a bus, drives up on the sidewalk, and stops inches from a shop window.For a second everything went quiet in the cab, then the driver said, "Look friend, don't EVER do that again. You scared the daylights out of me!"The passenger apologizes and says he didn't realize that a "little tap" could scare him so much.The driver, after gathering himself together replied, "Sorry, it's not really your fault.Today is my first day as a cab driver - I've been driving hearses for the last 25 years!
A passenger train is creeping along, slowly. Finally it creaks to a halt. A passenger sees a conductor walking by outside. "What's going on?" she yells out the window. "Cow on the track!" replies the conductor. Ten minutes later, the train resumes its slow pace. Within five minutes, however, it stops again. The woman sees the same conductor walk again. She leans out the window and yells, "What happened? Did we catch up with the cow again?"
A few guys were having a beer party in the woods. Suddenly, there was a downpour of rain and thunder. Two of the young men ran for at least ten minutes in the pouring rain, and finally reached their car just as the rain let up. They jumped in the car, started it up and headed down the road, laughing and, of course, still drinking beer after beer.
All of a sudden, an old man's face appeared outside the passenger window and he tapped lightly on it! The fellow on the passenger side screamed, "Aaaaah! Look at my window! There's an old guy's face there!!"
The old man kept tapping on the window, so the driver said, "Open the window a crack and ask him what he wants!" The passenger rolled his window down slightly and nervously said, "What do you want?"
"Do you have any cigarettes?" the old man softly asked.
Terrified, the passenger looked at the driver and told him the old man wanted a cigarette.
"Well, give the guy a cigarette more...
From a passenger ship, everyone can see a bearded man on a small island, shouting and desperately waving his hands.
"Who is that man... and why is he so upset?" a passenger asks the ship's captain.
"I have no idea," says the captain, "but, every year when we pass by here, he goes crazy."
A crowded United flight was cancelled. A single agent was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry man pushed his way to the desk, slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, "I HAVE to be on the flight & it has to be FIRST CLASS."
The agent, a nice little girl replied, "I'm sorry sir, I'll be happy to help you but I've got to help these folks first, then I'm sure, I'll be able to work something out for you".
The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, "Do you have any idea who I am?"
Without hesitating, the gate agent smiled & grabbed her public address microphone. "May I have your attention please?" she began, her voice bellowing through out the terminal, "We have a passenger here at gate number 3, WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone of you can help him to identify himself, please come to the gate, thank you."
With the folks in more...
Two Italian guys are driving through Texas when they get pulled over by a state trooper. The trooper walks up and taps on the window with his nightstick.The driver rolls down the window, and the trooper smacks him in the head with the stick. The driver says, "Why'd you do that?The trooper says, "You're in Texas, son. When I pull you over, you'll have your license ready." Driver says, "I'm sorry, officer, I'm not from around here."The trooper runs a check on the guy's license, and he's clean. He gives the guy his license back and walks around to the passenger side and taps on the window. The passenger rolls his window down, and the trooper smacks him with the nightstick. The passenger says, "What'd you do that for?"The cop says, "Just making your wishes come true." The passenger says, "Huh?"The cop says, "I know that two miles down the road you're gonna say,' I wish that guy would've tried that crap with me!
So, these two guys are carpooling home from work one day.
Traffic is barely crawling along and they are both a bit bored.
So the driver is looking around and suddenly he points at two dogs having sex in someone's front lawn.
"Look", he shouts "What are the those dogs doing? Are they fighting?"
The passenger, being a man of the world, replies "They are having sex.
Don't tell me that you have never had sex doggie style before?".
The driver, a bit embarrassed, admits that he has never had sex doggie style.
So the passenger says "You have to try it. Its pretty cool.
Here's what you do. Tonight when you get home, fix your wife a margarita and then suggest that you want to try this new sexual position."
The driver thinks a bit and then decides he will give it a try.
So the next morning, the two commuters are back in the car and the passenger asks "Well. How did it go?"
To which the driver replies more...