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A Texan, while visiting Toronto, found himself in the back seat of a taxi cab on the way to his hotel. Passing by the Royal York the Texan asked the cab driver "What`s that building there?" "That`s the Royal York Hotel" replied the cabbie. "The Royal York? How long did it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About 12 years" replied the cabbie.
"12 years? We build `em twice as high, twice as wide and four times as long down in Texas, and we do that in six months."
A while later the cab driver makes his was past the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre. "What`s that building over there?" asked the Texan. "That`s the Metro-Toronto Convention Centre" replied the cabbie. "Convention Centre? How long`d it take to build that?" asked the Texan. "About three years" replied the cabbie. "Three years? We build `em twice as high, three times as long and four times as wide as that down in Texas, more...

A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation.

There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel.

The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park,
"What's that" says the Texan

"Oh! That's Queens Park" says the Cabby, "Its our Provincial Government, its like your State Government" Those buildings are almost 200 years old and they are quite big".

Oh! We have buildings much older than that and at least twice as large" says the Texan.

They continue along and past First Canadian Place.
"Holy cow" says the Texan "What's that"?

"Why that's First Canadian Place, its the biggest office complex in the country" says the Cabby " it took almost 4 years to build".

"Really" says the Texan "Why in Houston they have buildings twice that big, and built in less than 1/2 the more...

Santa singh was failing in his maths exam for the past 5 years and the teachers there wanted to get him passed some how. So they decided that in the next exam they will ask him a very easy question.
On the day of the exam which was held in a huge auditorium where there were many of his sardar friends he was called on the stage and asked. "What is 2+2? "
Santa Singh thougth for a long time and finally said 4.
On his answer all his sardar friends stood up and shouted "PLEASE GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE".

A man is in bed with his wife when there is a rat-a-tat-tat on the door. He rolls over and looks at his clock, and it's half past three in the morning." I'm not getting out of bed at this time," he thinks, and rolls over. Then, a louder knock follows. "Aren't you going to answer that?" sayshis wife. So he drags himself out of bed, and goes downstairs. He opensthe door and there is man standing at the door. It didn't take thehomeowner long to realize the man was drunk." Hi there." slurs the stranger, "Can you give me a push??" "No, getlost, it's half past three. I was in bed." says the man and slams thedoor. He goes back up to bed and tells his wife what happened and she says "Dave, that wasn't very nice of you. Remember that night we broke downin the pouring rain on the way to pick the kids up from the baby-sitterand you had to knock on that man's house to get us started again? Whatwould have happened if he'd told us to get more...

Two condoms walk past a gay bar. One of them says to the other,"Hey, do you fancy dropping in there and getting shit-faced?"

A man was walking past a grave yard and he heard one of Beethoven's symphoney's playing backwards.He thought to himself "That's wierd" and kept walking.
The next day the same man walked past the same cemetary and heard another one of Beethoven's symphony's playing backward's. He thought to himself "Now that's REALLY wierd!" and kept going.
THe next day the same man was once again walking past the same cemetary and heard "Ode to Joy" playing backwards. The man said "I can't take this any more!" he walked up to the caretaker and asked, "What is going on around here?!" the caretaker answered, "Oh, that's just Beethoven decomposing."

A few selected, funny but also scary quotes of words of wisdom by George W Bush. Unlike the bogus Gore quotes making the rounds, the source and date for each quote is cited.
"The fundamental question is, 'Will I be a successful president when it comes to foreign policy?' I will be, but until I'm the president, it's going to be hard for me to verify that I think I'll be more effective." In Wayne, Mich., as quoted by Katharine Q. Seelye in the New York Times, June 28, 2000
"The only things that I can tell you is that every case I have reviewed I have been comfortable with the innocence or guilt of the person that I've looked at. I do not believe we've put a guilty... I mean innocent person to death in the state of Texas." All Things Considered, NPR, June 16, 2000 (Thanks to Andy Nouraee.)
"I'm gonna talk about the ideal world, Chris. I've read, I understand reality. If you're asking me as the president, would I understand reality, I do." On more...