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A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, "That''s not good." and promised he wouldn''t say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."

You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying over the future.

George was a bad loser. When he was cleaned out in a poker game for very high stakes, he slapped his hand on the table and got up to leave. As he walked past, he couldn't resist insulting Max McTavish, the bald man who had cleaned him out.
As George walked past, he ran a hand over Max's bald head and said sarcastically, "Your head feels just like my wife's arse."
Max put a hand to his head and said, "By crikey, mate. You're right. It does!"

A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation.
There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel.
The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park,
"What's that" says the Texan
"Oh! That's Queens Park" says the Cabby, "Its our Provincial Government, its like your State Government" Those buildings are almost 200 years old and they are quite big".
Oh! We have buildings much older than that and at least twice as large" says the Texan.
They continue along and past First Canadian Place.
"Holy cow" says the Texan "What's that"?
"Why that's First Canadian Place, its the biggest office complex in the country" says the Cabby " it took almost 4 years to build".
"Really" says the Texan "Why in Houston they have buildings twice that big, and built in less than 1/2 the time"
They continue on the way, the cabby a little more...

A Texan goes to Toronto for a vacation.There he grabs a cab at the airport and says he's on his way to The Royal York Hotel.The Cabby heads downtown on his way he passes Queens Park,"What's that" says the Texan"Oh! That's Queens Park" says the Cabby, "Its our Provincial Government, its like your State Government" Those buildings are almost 200 years old and they are quite big".Oh! We have buildings much older than that and at least twice as large" says the Texan.They continue along and past First Canadian Place."Holy cow" says the Texan "What's that"?"Why that's First Canadian Place, its the biggest office complex in the country" says the Cabby " it took almost 4 years to build"."Really" says the Texan "Why in Houston they have buildings twice that big, and built in less than 1/2 the time"They continue on the way, the cabby a little miffed at the bragging, when they drive past the CN more...

A lady is walking down the street to work and she sees a parrot in a pet store. The parrot says to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, the lady is furious! And she storms past the store to her work. On the way home she saw the same parrot in the window and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." Well, she was incredibly ticked now. The next day see saw the same parrot and the parrot said to her, "Hey lady, you are really ugly." The lady was so ticked that she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager said, "That's not good." and promised he wouldn't say it again. When the lady walked past the store after work the parrot said to her, "Hey lady." She paused and said, "Yes?" and the bird said, "You know."

Flutes: If you are a flute player then you're probably smart, strong, out-going, and have a lot of friends. But you might want to watch out for low brass players because some of them may not enjoy your high pitched melodies.
Compatibility: Trumpets, clarinets and saxophone players are OK, but stay clear from tuba players.

Clarinet: If you play the clarinet then you're most likely to be strong, and strong-willed, skilled and talented, smart, and of course, romantic. The future is always in your past and the past is always in your future. As the same for flute players, watch out for the low brass section. Compatibility: Flutes, trumpet and French horn players are advised.

Oboe: If the oboe is your skill then you are smart, very talented, well rounded, cunning, dexterous, and clever. Beware of clarinets though, because its just genetic for them to dislike you. Compatibility: Flutes, French horns, and trumpet players are all right, but steer clear from clarinets.