Pastor Jokes / Recent Jokes

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

Engineer: What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!

Doctor: I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!

Pastor: Hey, here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him. [dramatic pause] Hi George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?

George: Oh, yes, that's a group of blind fire fighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime.

The group was silent for a moment.

Pastor: That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight.

Doctor: Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them.

Engineer: Why can't these guys play at night?

One Sunday a pastor asked his congregation to consider giving a little extra in the offering plate. He said that whoever gave the most would be able to pick out three hymns.
After the offering plates were passed, the pastor glanced down and noticed that someone had contributed a $1, 000 bill. He was so excited that he immediately shared his joy with his congregation, and said he'd like to personally thank the person who had placed the money in the plate.
A very quiet, elderly, saintly widow shyly raised her hand. The pastor asked her to come to the front. Slowly she made her way to the pastor. He told her how wonderful it was that she gave so much and asked her to pick out three hymns.
Her eyes brightened as she looked over the congregation, pointed to the three handsomest men in the building and said, "I'll take him and him and him."

One day a woman went to her pastor and asked, "Pastor there are some things in life that aren't addressed in the Bible; how are we supposed to deal with them.
The Pastor responded, "There are no such things, give me an example of what you are talking about".
The woman responded, "PMS is not in the Bible". So the Pastor thought and told the woman to call back in the morning and he would have the answer.
The woman called the next morning and asked if the Pastor had an answer about PMS in the Bible.
The Pastor replied, "Yes, it's the part where Mary rides Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!!!".

The Reverand Francis Norton woke up Sunday morning and realising it was an exceptionally beautiful and sunny early spring day, decided he just had to play golf.
So... he told the Associate Pastor that he was feeling sick and persuaded him to take the service for the day. As soon as the Associate Pastor left the room, Father Norton headed out of town to a golf course about fifty miles away. This way he knew he wouldn't accidently meet anyone from his Parish.
Setting up on the first tee, he was alone. After all, it was Sunday morning and everyone else was in church! At about this time, St. Peter leaned over to the Lord while looking down from the heavens and exclaimed " You're not going to let him get away with this one are you?" The Lord sighed, and said "No I guess not."
Just then Father Norton hit the ball and shot it straight towards the pin, dropping just short of it, rolled up and fell into the hole. IT WAS A 420 YARD HOLE IN ONE! St. Peter was more...

One day a woman went to her pastor and asked, "Pastor there are some things in life that aren't addressed in the Bible; how are we supposed to deal with them.The Pastor responded, "There are no such things, give me an example of what you are talking about".The woman responded, "PMS is not in the Bible". So the Pastor thought and told the woman to call back in the morning and he would have the answer.The woman called the next morning and asked if the Pastor had an answer about PMS in the Bible.The Pastor replied, "Yes, it's the part where Mary rides Joseph's ass all the way to Bethlehem!!!".

A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his pants legs to keep his trousers dry.When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting."Pull down your pants," whispered the pastor."Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I want the traditional service."

A young couple met with their pastor to set a date for their
wedding. When he asked whether they preferred a contemporary or a
traditional service, they opted for the contemporary.
On the big day, a major storm forced the groom to take an alternate
route to the church. The streets were flooded, so he rolled up his
pants legs to keep his trousers dry.
When he finally reached the church, his best man rushed him into
the sanctuary and up to the altar, just as the ceremony was starting.
"Pull down your pants," whispered the pastor.
"Uh, Reverend, I've changed my mind," the groom responded. "I think I
would prefer the traditional service."