Patterns Jokes

Fancy company has a party and rents the restaurant at the top of the World Trade Center. Late in the evening, somebody notices a wallflower standing by himself by an open window. He walks over. Guy: "Hi! Keeping to yourself?" Wallflower: "Oh, hi. No, I'm just examining the wind patterns here. I think I have them figured out. If I took a running jump out there, I believe that the updraft would lift me back up and eventually deliver me back here." Guy: "Eh, can I get you a drink? Would you like to come back to the bar?" Wallflower: "No. I've made the calculations, so I have to try it!" Before the guy can stop him, the wallflower takes a running leap out of the 112th floor window. Guy gapes out, and sees wallflower hovering in the updraft, then slowly rising back up to be deposited in the window again. Wallflower: "I'll take that drink now, if you don't mind." Guy: "That was freakin' amazing! Think I could do it?" Wallflower: more...

1) Light a candle on your roomie's, friend's, or relative's forehead while they are sleeping. See how long it takes for them to wake up. This will tell you how long you will live. 2) Tell your future by interpreting the patterns in popcorn, beer cans and cigarette butts left on the floor after your last party. It's a lot like reading tea leaves. 3) Choose an outfit for the day using a divining rod. 4) Determine what your friends have done during the day by smelling their odor eaters. 5) Go outside skyclad (naked), come in and interpret the patterns in your goose bumps. It's a lot like reading tea leaves. 6) Tape music videos, play them backwards on your VCR and try to find subliminal images and rock stars that take on Satanic appearances. 7) Interpret forms in your sculptured carpet. It's a lot like reading tea leaves. 8) At breakfast, eat all but a few bits of cereal, then stir it vigorously and interpret the resulting designs. It's a lot like reading tea leaves. 9) Develop a 'tarot' more...