Pausing Jokes

Pausing in the airport lavatory, ShocHey was surprised to find a small hole in the wall with a sign above it which read "Your Wife Away from Home."
Since there was no one around, Shockley unzipped his pants, stuck his member in the hole, and put two quarters in the slot. At once, he experienced a terrible pain and withdrew his organ-but not soon enough: There, neatly sewed on the tip, was a button.

Car Parking
The smallest kerbside space successfully reversed into by a woman was one of 19. 36m (63ft 2ins), equivalent to three standard parking spaces, by Mrs. Elizabeth Simpkins, driving an unmodified Vauxhall Nova' Swing' on 12th October 1993. She started the manoeuvre at 11. 15am in Ropergate, Pontefract, and successfully parked within three feet of the pavement 8 hours 14 minutes later. There was slight damage to the bumpers and wings of her own and two adjoining cars, as well as a shop frontage and two lampposts.
Incorrect Driving
The longest journey completed with the handbrake on was one of 504 km (313 miles) from Stranraer to Holyhead by Dr. Julie Thorn (GB) at the wheel of a Saab 900 on the 2nd April 1987. Dr. Thorn smelled burning two miles into her journey at Aird but pressed on to Holyhead with smoke billowing from the rear wheels. This journey also holds the records for the longest completed journey with the choke fully out and the right indicator more...

A guy and his manager go down to the docks. The manager is betting
every longshoreman he sees that his guy can screw and satisfy 100
women in a row, without pausing. Bets are made and they agree that
they'll meet the next day.
The next day, 100 women are lined up along the dock and the guy drops
his pants and starts. True to his word, he moves from one to the
next, satisfying each one without pausing: 1.. 2.. 3.. on and on he
goes: 49.. 50.. 51.. He slows down somewhat: 83... 84...
85... but he is still moving from one to the next and the women
are still satisfied: 97... 98...
99... and before he can get to the last woman he has a
heart attack and dies.
The manager scratches his head and says, "I don't understand it! It
went perfectly at practice this morning!"

Amsterdam (AP/UPI) -- While the Lewinsky scandal continues to rage on the front of American newspapers, a much different reaction has developed on this side of the Atlantic. To world-wise, sophisticated Europeans, the spectacle is a curious sideshow and another reason to mock and disdain the puritan morals of their American counterparts.
"You feelthy Americans, you make me seek," says sneering French graduate student Serge Tati, 47, expressing a common sentiment. Fashionably clad in a horizontal stripe t-shirt and skin-tight Speedo, he was recently relaxing on the Lido with his mistress Yvette LaFleur, 43. Like thousands of fellow French graduate students, he was enjoying his annual 28-week vacation.
"Beel Clinton, he is Euro, no. He eez moderne, he eez now. He has joie de vivre. He ravages zee young geerls. In my country, we geeve heem a medal, no?" asks Tati, deeply drawing on a clove cigarette.
"Oui, like Jerry Lewees," adds the topless more...