Peanut Jokes / Recent Jokes
One day there were these 5 little boys
the first little boy went to the priest and went bless me father for i have sinned the priest goes what did you do my son the boy goes i threw peanut in the water and the priest goes your forgivin
the second little boy goes to the priest bless me father for i have sinned the priest goes what did you do my son the boy goes i threw peanut in the water the priest goes your forgiven
the third little boy goes to the priest and goes bless me father for i have sinned the priest goes what did you do my son the boy goes i threw peanut in the water the priest goes your forgiven
the fourth little boy goes to the priest and goes bless me father for i have sinned the priest goes what did you do my son the boy goes i threw peanut in the water the priest goes your forgiven
then the fifth little boy goes to the priest and goes bless me father for i have sinned the priest goes i know you threw peanut in the water too the boy goes no i is peanut
A guy's driving down a country road when he comes upon a sign saying "Apples - $5. 00 each." He thinks that that is a lot of money so he decides to go see what's up. He goes up to the farmer and says, "Hey, how come these apples are 5 bucks each?" The farmer replies, "They are peanut butter and jelly apples." The farmer hands him one and says, "Here, try one." So the man takes a bite out of the apple and says, "Peanut butter - that's great, but I thought you said that they were peanut butter and jelly apples." The farmer tells the man to turn it around. The man bites the other side and exclaims "son of a gun - jelly!" The man says, "These apples are great - give me some!"He gets back in his car and drives a little further down the road and then sees another sign "Apples - $10 each." Again, he pulls over, goes to the farmer and says, "Hey, what's up with these apples?" The farmer says, more...
Amid a recent salmonella outbreak in peanut factories, a spokesman for M&M’s said the woman is lucky she didn’t find a peanut in the Peanut M&M’s.
A man walks into a bar with a monkey he had just bought at the pet store. He sits down at the bar and orders a beer. The monkey jumps down off his shoulder and runs over to the pool table and ate the cue-ball. The bartender says “Your monkey just ate the cue-ball!!! GET OUT NOW!! ” so the man picks up the monkey and leaves. Two months later the same man comes back with the monkey on a leash. The monkey jumps off his shoulder and grabs a peanut, shoves it up his ass, pulls it out then eats it. The bartender says ” Did your monkey just shove a peanut up his ass then eat it? ” The man says “Yeah ever since the cue-ball incident he checks everything for size”
If cats and dogs didn't have fur would we still pet them?
If peanut butter cookies are made from peanut butter, then what are Girl Scout cookies made out of?
If space is a vacuum, who changes the bags?
If swimming is good for your shape, then why do the whales look the way they do?
If tin whistles are made out of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?
If you jog backwards, will you gain weight?
If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
Why do the signs that say "Slow Children" have a picture of a running child?
Why do they call it "chili" if it's hot?
Like a Peanut
Cute little 5-year old Tiffeny comes home from kindergarten and says to her mother:
"Momy, Tomi's penis is like a peanut".
Her mother, a little surprised, asks: "why? is it because it's so small, darling?".
"No,", answers Tiffeny, "because it's so salty"...
Question and answer Clinton jokes
Q: How do you break a Bill Clinton supporter`s finger?
A: Punch him in the nose.
Q: What does Jeffrey Dahmer`s victims and The Clintons` hair styles have in common?
A: They both look like the work of a butcher.
Q: If The Clinton`s were younger, do you think they would have known the Clampents?
A: Possibly, Bill might have made Jethro`s acquaintance in the 6th grade.
Q: Why doesn`t Hillary cut Bill`s hair?
A: He won`t pay her $300.
Q: What are the two worst things about Bill Clinton?
A: His face.
Q: What is the Arkansas state flower?
A: Gennifer.
Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours?
A: Put Janet Reno in charge.
Q: What`s the difference between a Bill Clinton and a carp?
A: One`s a scum sucking bottom feeder and the other`s a fish.
Q: What`s the difference between Hillary Clinton and a more...