Pears Jokes

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Pears!
Pears who?
Pears the party!

Knock Knock
Who's there!
Pears!
Pears who?
Pears the party!

Q: If a plane crashed on the border of England and Scotland, where would they bury the survivors?
A: you don`t bury survivors Q: Twelve pears hanging high, twelve men passing by, each took a pear and left eleven hanging there. How can this be? How can eleven pears be left?
A: `Each` is a mans name! Q: If there`s a frog, dead in the centre of a lilypad which is right in the middle of the pond, which side would it jump to?
A: neither, the frog is dead! Q: You`re a bus driver. At the first stop 4 people get on. At the second stop 8 people on, at the third stop 2 people get off and, at the forth stop everyone got off. The question is what color are the bus drivers eyes?
A: The same as yours, you`re the bus driver. Q: What never gets any wetter, no matter how much it rains?
A: The sea! Q: A man went outside in the pouring rain with no protection, but not a hair on his head got wet... how come?
A: He was bald. Q: David`s father has three sons: Snap, Crackle and more...

The following is a college entrance exam for athletes. Time Limit: 3 Days. Write Your Name: ________________________________________(20 point bonus if spelled correctly). 1. What language is spoken in Germany? 2. Give a dissertation on the ancient Babylonian Empire with particular reference to architecture, literature, law and social conditions - OR - Give the FIRST name of Michael Jordan. 3. Would you ask William Shakespeare to____ (a) build a bridge____ (b) lead an army or____ (c) WRITE A PLAY4. What religion is the Pope? (check only one)____ (a) Jewish____ (b) Catholic____ (c) Hindu____ (d) Polish5. Advanced Math: How many feet is 0. 0 meters? 6. What time is it when the big hand is on the 12 and the little hand is on the 12? 7. How many commandments was Moses given? (approximately)8. What are people in America's far NORTH called? ____ (a) Westerners____ (b) Southerners____ (c) NORTHerners9. Spell the name of the current President of the US. (George more...