Peeing Jokes / Recent Jokes

There is one man that likes to pee out windows.There is another man that likes to chop off peoples weiners peeing out windows.The last man likes pickles.The first man was peeing out the window.The second man chopped off his weiner.The weiner fell in some green paint and splashed to the ground.The last man picked it up and said oh a pickle and... ate it.

At age 4, success is... not peeing your pants.
At age 12, success is... having friends.
At age 16, success is... having a driver's license.
At age 20, success is... having sex.
At age 35, success is... having money.
At age 55, success is... having money.
At age 65, success is... having sex.
At age 70, success is... having a driver's license.
At age 80, success is... having friends.
At age 85, success is... not peeing your pants.

Most of us understand that our self worth and feelings of achievement change as we go through life. While everyone has different aspirations, it appears we all have some common benchmarks for what success is. Really it all depends on your age - consider the following:
At age 4, success is not peeing in your pants
At age 18, success is "gettin' a little"
At age 25, success is graduation and a wedding
At age 35, success is about career and family
At age 55, success is about graduations and weddings
At age 65, success is "gettin' a little"
At age 90, success is not peeing in your pants

A man was walking down the street, and he notices a blind man with a seeing eye dog. The dog was peeing on the mans leg. The man says "
Sir, your dog is peeing on your leg"
. The blind man replies"
Give me a cracker"
The other man asks why.He says"
I need the cracker so I can find his mouth and kick him in the butt"
!

A man on a construction site 30 floors up had to go to the bathroom. He approached his foreman and told him that he was going down to use the facilities. The foreman told him he was crazy. By the time he got down and back he'd lose a half hour of time.
The foreman pushed a plank out over the edge of the building. He stood on one end and told the guy to go out on the other end and pee off. He told the man that they were 30 floors up and that his piss would turn into vapor before it reached the bottom. So the guy decided to take his advice.
Suddenly the foreman's cell phone rang and he jumped off the board to get it, allowing the peeing man to fall to his death!
At the inquest an electrician who was working on the 27th floor was asked if he knew what happened. "Not really, but I think it had something to do with sex."
The coroner said, "Sex, why do you think it had something to do with sex?"
The electrician replied, "I saw the man more...