Penance Jokes / Recent Jokes

A priest was in the confessional booth with a fairly long line of people waiting for their confession. The priest had to go to the bathroom something awful and couldn't hold it for another minute. Not wanting to upset all of the people in line, he frantically looked out the back door for another priest to help him out but there wasn't a priest to be found.
Suddently the janitor pushed his broom past the back of the booth and the priest grabbed him and said, "You just gotta help me out. I have to go to the bathroom and the line is so long.
"It's very simple", said the Priest. "There on the wall is a chart... column A lists the sins and column B lists the penance. Just find the sin on the chart and tell them what their penance is."
The janitor agreed that it sounded pretty simple and wanted to help the holy Father so he agreed to fill in for the priest in the booth while the priest hurried away to the bathroom.
The very next person in line more...

A man was driving from New York to San Francisco. He got as far asCleveland, when he realized he was getting terribly horny. So he looked up a house of ill repute and took care of the problem. Immediately, a severe guilt reaction set in, so he went to confession. For penance, he was told to say 10, 000 Hail Mary's. So he went on driving and praying. By the time he got through with the 10, 000 Hail Mary's, he was approachingSan Francisco. Suddenly he realized he was terribly horny. So he looked up a house of ill repute, and had an orgy. Again there was asevere guilt reaction, so he went to confession. It was an old Irish priest who said, "For penance say three Hail Mary's". The man said, "What?? In Cleveland, I had to say 10, 000 Hail Mary's for the same thing. Father replied quietly, "Sure now, and what would they know about fucking in Cleveland?".

A young priest, who is still unsure of the penance to dole out duringconfession, asks an older priest what he should give a cocksucker."Oh," says the older priest, "give the altar boy a dollar or so, if you feel like it. Personally, I never give them more than fifty cents."

A man was driving from New York to San Francisco. He got as far asCleveland, when he realized he was getting terribly horny. So he looked up a house of ill repute and took care of the problem. Immediately, a severe guilt reaction set in, so he went to confession. For penance, he was told to say 10,000 Hail Mary's. So he went on driving and praying.By the time he got through with the 10,000 Hail Mary's, he was approachingSan Francisco. Suddenly he realized he was terribly horny.So he looked up a house of ill repute, and had an orgy. Again there was asevere guilt reaction, so he went to confession. It was an old Irish priest who said, "For penance say three Hail Mary's". The man said, "What? In Cleveland, I had to say 10,000 Hail Mary's for the same thing. Father replied quietly, "Sure now, and what would they know about fucking in Cleveland?".