Penny Jokes / Recent Jokes

Yo momma is like a penny: brown, round, skinny, ain`t worth much, and looks like abrahalm lincoln.

Playing penny slot machines has increased dramatically since the recession.

"You can play longer with less money on penny slots.", says thenewsletter, Indiana Gaming Insight. Their next insightful article: "Free, Unlimited Alcohol Provided by Casinos Impairs Judgement DuringBlackjack Card Counting".

A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said,"A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'. .. perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed.
The two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin. .. perhaps its noo aboot time for a wee cuddle."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and cuddled him for a few seconds. Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh I was thinkin. .. perhaps its aboot time you let me poot ma hand on more...

Q: What does JC Penny have in common with Michael Jackson?

A: They both have little boys' pants half off.

Captain Penny's Law: You can fool all of the people some of the time, and some of the people all of the time, but you Can't Fool Mom.

When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts", and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?

A man was praying to God. He said, "God!?" God responded, "Yes?" And the guy said, "Can I ask a question?" "Go right ahead," God said." God, what is a million years to you?" God said, "A million years to me is only a second." "Hmmm," the man wondered. Then he asked, "God, what is a million dollars worth to you?" God said, "A million dollars to me is as a penny." So the man said, "God, can I have a penny?" And God cheerfully said, "Sure!!..... just a second."