Penny Jokes / Recent Jokes
If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
When someone asks you, "A penny for your thoughts," and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It's just stale bread to begin with.
When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist, but a person who drives a race car is not called a racist?
Why are wise man and a wise guy opposites?
Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
Why isn't 11 pronounced onety one?
a short conversation took place between god and a boy
boy:how long is a million year to you
god:a second
boy:how long is a million dollars to you
god:a penny
boy:give me a penny
god: wait a seconds
If you want to say it with flowers, a single rose says: "I'm cheap!" -Delta BurkeWomen complain about premenstrual syndrome, but I think of it as the only time of the month that I can be myself. -RoseanneI am not the boss of my house. I don't know when I lost it. I don't know if I ever had it. But I have seen the boss's job and I do not want it. -Bill CosbyMy mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance. -Tim AllenWe have women in the military, but they don't put us in the front lines. They don't know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, "You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms." -Elayne BooslerAlways be nice to your children because they are the ones who will choose your rest home. -Phyllis DillerElectricity can be dangerous. My nephew tried to stick a penny into a plug. Whoever said a penny doesn't go far didn't see him shoot more...
George Washington, Abe Lincoln and Osama are on an airplane.
Washington takes a quarter, drops it out of the plane and says, "This is for my country."
Lincoln takes out a penny and drops it out of the plane and says, "This is for my country."
Osama takes a bomb and drops it out of the plane and says, "This is for my country."
They land and Washington sees a girl crying and he asks her why. She tells him that she was hit in the head with a quarter and then Washington apologizes.
Then Lincoln sees a boy crying and asks him why. He says that he was hit on the head with a penny and Lincoln apologizes.
Then Osama sees a boy cracking up and he asks him why. The boy replies, "Daddy farted and then the house blew up!"
If Bill Gates had a penny for every time I had to reboot my computer...oh wait, he does.
There once were three men who were in an air balloon and the Japanese man said, "Lets throw whatever you have in your pockets out of the balloon."
The other two men agreed and the Chinese man goes and throws a penny off of the balloon and sees a girl on the ground crying, so he says, "Whats wrong little girl?"
The girl says, "A penny hit me in the head from the sky."
The Japenese man goes next, and he throws off a quarter and sees a little girl on the ground crying so he goes down and says, "Little girl, why are you crying?"
She says, "A quarter hit me in my head from the sky."
The mexican goes last and he throws off a bomb and sees a little boy laughing really hard. Curious, he goes down to the little boy and asks, "Little boy, why are you laughing?", and the lil boy says I farted and my house blew up.
THE END