Penny Jokes / Recent Jokes
A old man stops by a cafe for breakfast. After paying the tab, he checks his pockets and leaves three pennies for a tip.
As he strides toward the door, his waitress muses, only half to herself, "You know, you can tell a lot about a man by the tip he leaves."
The old man turns around, curiosity getting the better of him. "Oh, really? Tell me, what does my tip say?"
"Well, this penny tells me you're a thrifty man."
Barely able to conceal his pride, the man utters, "Hmm, true enough."
"And this penny, it tells me you're a bachelor."
Surprised at her perception, he says, "Well, that's true, too."
"And the third penny tells me that your father was also a bachelor."
One night when a boy prayed to god, the boy asked god:
How Long is 1 million years to you?
God replies 1 second.
The Boy asked God:
How much is 1 million dallors to you?
God replies 1 penny.
Then the boy asked god if he could have a penny.
God replies...sure, "gimme 1 second".
One night when a boy prayed to god, the boy asked god:How Long is 1 million years to you? God replies 1 second.The Boy asked God:How much is 1 million dallors to you? God replies 1 penny.Then the boy asked god if he could have a penny.God replies...sure, "gimme 1 second".
Q: What do Michael Jackson and J.C. Penny have in common?
A: Both have boys' pants half off!
Three old ladies were sitting side by side in their retirement home reminiscing. The first lady recalled shopping at the green grocers and demonstrated with her hands, the length and thickness of a
cucumber she could buy for a penny.
The second old lady nodded, adding that onions used to be much bigger and cheaper also, the demonstrated the size of two big onions she could buy for a penny a piece.
The third old lady remarked,"I can't hear a word you're saying, but I remember the guy you're talking about."
One day, a teacher in a high school class was administering a test, and she noticed that four pupils were missing.
The first one came in.
"Why are you so late?" the teacher said to him.
"Sorry, miss," he said. "I''ve been up Penny Lane."
She told him to go sit down.
Then the second pupil came in.
"Why are you so late?" she said to him.
"Sorry miss," he said. "I''ve been up Penny Lane."
She told him to go sit down.
Then the third one came in.
"Why are you so late?" she said to him.
"Sorry miss," he said. "I''ve been up Penny Lane."
She told him to go sit down.
Finally, the fourth pupil, a girl, came in.
"I suppose you''ve been up Penny Lane, too, then?"
"No, miss," she said to the teacher. "I am Penny Lane"
Recently my girlfriend's son lost his phone charger. So, she got inthe car and went out in search of a new charger to fit his phone. Most chargers were around $19 to $26 and we were unable to find one that definately fit his phone model. Then she hopped on the internet to find the one we needed and find the cheapest. Three or four minutes later she found the charger we needed for $4.99 plus $2.99 for shipping and handling. Obviously she's very excited she found it and it is very cheap, so she orders it. Today, the charger is delivered to the house. It came from Hong Kong. Why am I telling you about this. Think about this. It cost $7.98 for a charger that travelled about 9000 miles which is less than half of what it would cost to run to Wal-Mart and get it. I get the sense that in Hong Kong and China they make everything for about a penny. Cell phone, one penny, radio, one penny, toaster oven, one penny, microwave, one penny, new car, one penny, having a charger delivered with all of more...