Pentagon Jokes / Recent Jokes

The Pentagon is recommending President Bush add 92,000 soldiers to the military over the next five years. Bush responded by saying, "Now where are we going to get that many poor people?"

Dear IRS:
Enclosed are my 1998 Tax Return & payment. Please take note of the attached article from the USA Today newspaper. In the article, you will see that the Pentagon is paying $171.50 for hammers and NASA has paid $600.00 for a toilet seat.
Enclosed please find four toilet seats (value $2400) and six hammers (value $1029). This brings my total payment to $3429.00. Please note the overpayment of $22.00 and apply it to the "Presidential Election Fund," as noted on my return. Might I suggest you the send the above-mentioned fund a "1.5 inch screw?" (See attached article: HUD paid $22.00 for a 1.5 inch Phillips Head Screw.)
It has been a pleasure to pay my tax bill this year, and I look forward to paying it again next year. I just saw an article about the Pentagon and "screwdrivers."
Sincerely,
I. Getscrewed Everyear

The prime Minister of China called President Bush to console him after the attack on the Pentagon:
"I'm sorry to hear about the attack. It is a very big tragedy. But in case you are missing any documents from the Pentagon, we have copies of everything."
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Musharraf calls Bush on 11th Sept:
Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings, I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with that....
Bush: What buildings? What people??
Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?
Bush: It's eight in the morning.
Musharraf: Oops... Will call back in an hour!
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Vajpai and Bush are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the barman,
"Isn't that Bush and Vajpayee?" The barman says "Yep, that's more...

It is sad that the World Trade Centre and Pentagon were attacked by terrorist! But come to think of it, we figured out the theme songs for the happenings.

Life is too short to be sulking. So... here goes. ..

George Bush's fav. song..... I Will Survive
Osama Bin Laden's theme song..... It Wasn't Me
Boston Airport Authority's song..... Who Let The Dog's Out
New Yorker's song..... Smoke Get In Your Eyes
Song that was played in the WTC..... Baby One More Time
Guy that jumped off WTC was singing..... I Believe I Can Fly
Pentagon's ex-theme song..... U Can't Touch This
Saddam Hussein....... I Feel Good......

The Pentagon decided one day that there were to many Generals, so they decided to offer early retirement to three of them. They called Congress and asked them to voteon a method of determining each General's early retirementbonus. After voting Congress decided that each man would choose two points of their body to measure between and then each man would be paid $10, 000 per inch. They called in the first General. He decide to havethem measure from the top of his head to the bottom of hisfeet. Upon measuring it to 6 feet, they paid him $720, 000. The next General, thinking a little bit more, stretchedhis arms above his head, and asked them to measure from thetips of his fingers, to the bottom of his feet. After measuring 8 feet, they paid him $960, 000. The next General, with a smug look on his face, asked them to measure from the tip of his penis to the bottom ofhis balls. Congress decided to call in a medical officer. The medical officer asked the General to drop his pants. The more...

As New Yorkers continue to await for someone, anyone to approve a final design of the World Trade Center Memorial, the Pentagon's 9/11 tribute is set for its groundbreaking on Thursday. So what exactly does this mean?
The phrase "it's like dealing with the Pentagon" will now imply a streamlined process that reaches its resolution quickly and easily.
The saying "in a New York minute" will now confer a unit of time that seems to last much, much longer than a regular minute.
Hordes of German tourists will now plan vacations to visit "The World's Largest Office Building."
Actually, New York's Memorial has been completed for some time. A reflection of the city itself, it's been dubbed "The Eternal Argument."

Overused plot lines:

Post-cataclysmic rag-tag armies struggle to kick the Rooskies out of the good ol' US of A.

Post-cataclysmic rag-tag armies struggle to survive against gangs of bandits, mutants, cyberpunks, bikers, etc.

The rag-tag rebel army/fleet struggles valiantly to overthrow the Evil Empire.

The Good Guys travel through time to stop a historical Bad Guy, usually Hitler.

The Bad Guy travels through time to kill the Hero in his childhood, or prevent him from ever being born.

The Chronocops travel in time to catch a Bad Guy who escaped into some other era.

Scientists work feverishly to develop a cure for the Supervirus or a weapon to stop the Invincible Bad Guys.

An alien:

Is stranded on earth;

Befriends a human child or falls in love with an earth gal;

Is pursued by shadowy malevolent Pentagon officials under the pretense of national more...