Percent Jokes / Recent Jokes

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set
2. A day without sunshine is like, night. 3. On the other hand, you have different fingers. 4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. 5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot. 6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name. 7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe. 8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you. 9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges 10. Honk if you love peace and quiet. 11. Remember half the people you know are below average. 12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? 13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool. 14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization. 15. He who laughs last thinks slowest. 16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm. 17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines. 18. The early bird may get the worm, but the second more...

1. A day without sunshine is like night.

2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.

3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.

4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.

5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.

6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.

7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.

9. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.

10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.

12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.

13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.

14. OK, so what's the speed of dark?

15. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong more...

Redneck Billy Joe and Redneck Mary Sue are joined in holy matrimony.
They spend their wedding night at the Motel 6 Honeymoon Suite in Parthenon, Arkansas. They've abstained from the big deed until this very night.
Just as Billy Joe is about to make love to his new wife for the first time, she stops him. "Wait, Billy Joe. I just thought you should know..this ain't just our first time. It's my first time ever. I'm a virgin. I been savin' myself just for you."
"Whut you say, Mary Sue?"
"I said, I'm a virgin. One hunnert percent cherry. Just for you on our weddin' night."
"Yore a VIRGIN??" He asked somewhat shocked.
"That's right. Please be gentle."
"Gentle? Gentle my ass. I'm outta here!" With that, Billy Joe pulls up his pants, and leaves his virgin bride lying alone. He slams the door, gets in his pickup, and drives home.
"Paw! Paw! Wake up! Yore not gonna believe this!"
"Huh? more...

1. Save the whales. Collect the whole set

2. A day without sunshine is like, night.
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
5. 42. 7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
9. I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges
10. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
11. Remember half the people you know are below average.
12. Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
13. Nothing is fool-proof to a talented fool.
14. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
15. He who laughs last thinks slowest.
16. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
17. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't more...

Butterflies taste with their feet.

A duck's quack doesn't echo, and no one knows why.

In 10 minutes, a hurricane releases more energy than all the world's nuclear weapons combined.

On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year.

On average people fear spiders more
than they do death.

Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are already married.

Elephants are the only animals that can't jump.

Only one person in two billion will live to be 116 or older.

It's possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs.

Women blink nearly twice as much as men.

The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it was built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the more...

17 percent of all car-crashes are caused by drunken drivers. So 83 percent of all crashes are caused by not-drunken drivers.
Why can't this sober guys stay off the streets and help us increase the safety of our car-traffic by mor than 400 percent?

Mathematics is made of 50 percent formulas, 50 percent proofs and 50 percent imagination.