Perfect Jokes / Recent Jokes
It seems that this perfect man met this perfect woman and they got married. One day on December 24 they were driving down the road and they noticed a man stranded on the side of the road. This was no ordinary man, but it was Santa Claus. Being the perfect people that they were they offered Santa a ride because he was in a hurry to get his toys delivered. So the perfect man and perfect woman sped up to deliver Santa to his destination on time. Alas, the roads were slippery and the car got into an accident and 2 of the 3 people were killed. Can you guess who survived? Answer below. . .
Since Santa Claus and a Perfect Man are both myths...the perfect woman had to survive.
The Perfect Worker1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, without3 wasting company time talking to colleagues. Bob never4 thinks twice about assisting fellow employees, and he always5 finishes given assignments on time. Often he takes extended6 measures to complete his work, sometimes skipping coffee7 breaks. Bob is a dedicated individual who has absolutely no8 vanity in spite of his high accomplishments and profound9 knowledge in his field. I firmly believe that Bob can be10 classed as a high-caliber employee, the type which cannot be11 dispensed with. Consequently, I duly recommend that Bob be12 promoted to executive management, and a proposal will be13 executed as soon as possible.Addendum:That idiot was standing over my shoulder while I wrote the reportsent to you earlier today. Kindly re-read only the odd numberedlines.
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right.
The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing."
God nodded in agreement. The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away. A picture perfect hole-in-one. He was more...
Women should not have children after 35. Really…35 children are enough Shopping tip: You can get shoes for 85 cents at bowling alleys. After all is said and done, usually more is said than done. Save Your Breath… You’ll need it to blow up your date! I am a nobody, nobody is perfect, therefore I am perfect. I married my wife for her looks… but not the ones she’s been giving me lately! “No one ever says “It’s only a game, ” when their team is winning. ” I gave my son a hint. On his room door I put a sign: “CHECKOUT TIME IS 18? “If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway? ” “How come we choose from just two people for president and 50 for Miss America? ” Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes, and lottery tickets are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well? On my first day of school my parents dropped me off at the wrong nursery. There I was…surrounded by trees and bushes.
1st Friend: I have the perfect son.
2nd Friend: Does he smoke?
1st Friend: No, he doesn`t.
2nd Friend: Does he drink whiskey?
1st Friend: No, he doesn`t.
2nd Friend: Does he ever come home late?
1st Friend: No, he doesn`t.
2nd Friend: I guess you really do have the perfect son. How old is he?
1st Friend: He will be six months old next Wednesday.
There was this preacher who was an avid golfer. Every chance he could get, he could be found on the golf course swinging away. It was an obsession. One Sunday was a picture perfect day for golfing. The sun was out, no clouds in the sky, and the temperature was just right. The preacher was in a quandary as to what to do, and shortly, the urge to play golf overcame him. He called an assistant to tell him that he was sick and could not do church, packed the car up, and drove three hours to a golf course where no one would recognize him. Happily, he began to play the course.
An angel up above was watching the preacher and was quite perturbed. He went to God and said, "Look at the preacher. He should be punished for what he is doing." God nodded in agreement.
The preacher teed up on the first hole. He swung at the ball, and it sailed effortlessly through the air and landed right in the cup three hundred and fifty yards away (as they say in basketball, nothing but net). A more...
Nobody is perfect. Well there was this one fella, but then we killed him.