Personality Jokes / Recent Jokes
Christmas Carols for the Psychiatrically Challenged
SCHIZOPHRENIA - Do You Hear What I Hear?
MULTIPLE PERSONALITY - We Three Queens Disoriented Are.
DEMENTIA - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.NARCISSISTIC - Hark The Herald
Angels Sing...About Me!
MANIA - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and
Office and Town...OH!!! Deck the Halls and Spare No Expense!
PARANOIA - Santa Claus is Coming To Town...And He Is Out to Get Me!
PERSONALITY DISORDER - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout,
then maybe I'll tell you why.
DEPRESSION - Silent anhedonia, Holy anhedonia. All is calm, All is pretty
lonely.
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle
Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell
Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell,
Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle more...
Carols For the Psycho Challenged
SCHIZOPHRENIA: Do You Hear What I Hear?
DEMENTIA: I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas
MANIC: Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Busses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...
PARANOID: Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me
PERSONALITY DISORDER: You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why
OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVE DISORDER: Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle more...
A bright young psychology major was to help the professor in conducting a personality test. The room was set up with various props in order to move through the assessment quickly.
The first person to enter the room started through the test. "How does this glass of water look to you?" the psychology major asks.
Person 1: "It is half empty."
The student checks' pessimist' on his chart.
Person 2 enters the room.
"How does this glass of water look to you?"
Person 2: "It is half full."
The student checks' optimist' on his chart.
Person 3 enters the room.
"How does this glass of water look to you?"
Person 3: "Looks like you have entirely too much glass there."
The researcher looks totally confused and must go consult with his professor.
"Oh them!" the professor says. "I forgot to warn more...
Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality - We Three Queens Disoriented Are
Dementia - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas
Narcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing (About Me)
Mania - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and... or Deck the Halls and Spare No Expenses
Borderline Personality - Thoughts of Roasting in an Open Fire
Paranoia - Santa Claus is Coming To Get Me
Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry. I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll Tell You Why
Depression - Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia. All is Calm, All is Pretty Lonely
Obsessive Compulsive - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock...
Passive Aggressive - On the First Day of Christmas My Mother Gave to Me... (And Then Took it All Away)
Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear?
Multiple Personality Disorder - We Three Kings Disoriented Are.
Dementia - I Think I'll Be Home For Christmas.
Narcissistic - Hark The Herald Angels Sing About Me.
Manic - Deck The Halls and Walls and Houses and Lawns and Streets and Stores and Offices and Towns and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and Fire Hydrants and...
Paranoid - Santa Claus Is Coming To Get Me.
Borderline Personality - Thoughts Of Roasting On An Open Fire.
Personality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry, I'm Gonna Pout, Maybe I'll Tell You Why.
Obsessive Compulsive - Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle, Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells...
The boss giving you a rough time? Just try these "attainable affirmations," and your work week is sure to fly by!1. As I let go of my feelings of guilt, I am in touch with my inner sociopath.2. I have the power to channel my imagination into ever-soaring levels of suspicion and paranoia.3. I assume full responsibility for my actions, except the ones that are someone else's fault.4. I no longer need to punish, deceive, or compromise myself, unless I want to stay employed.5. In some cultures what I do would be considered normal.6. Having control over myself is almost as good as having control over others.7. My intuition nearly makes up for my lack of self-judgment.8. I honor my personality flaws for without them I would have no personality at all.9. Joan of Arc heard voices, too.10. I am grateful that I am not as judgmental as all those censorious, self-righteous people around me.11. I need not suffer in silence while I can still moan, whimper and complain.12. As I learn the more...
Schizophrenia - Do You Hear What I Hear? Multiple Personality - We Three Queens Disoriented AreDementia - I Think I'll Be Home For ChristmasNarcissistic - Hark the Herald Angels Sing (About Me)Mania - Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and... or Deck the Halls and Spare No ExpensesBorderline Personality - Thoughts of Roasting in an Open FireParanoia - Santa Claus is Coming To Get MePersonality Disorder - You Better Watch Out, I'm Gonna Cry. I'm Gonna Pout, then MAYBE I'll Tell You WhyDepression - Silent Anhedonia, Holy Anhedonia. All is Calm, All is Pretty LonelyObsessive Compulsive - Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell, Jingle Bell Rock...Passive Aggressive - On the First Day of Christmas My Mother Gave to Me... (And Then Took it All Away)