Pharmacist Jokes / Recent Jokes

A guy enters a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist, "Listen, I have three girls coming over tonight. I've never had three girls at once. I need something to keep me horny.. keep me potent."
The pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small cardboard box marked with a label "Viagra Extra Strength" and says, "Here, if you eat this, you'll go nuts for twelve hours."
The guy says, "Gimme three boxes."
The next day, the guy walks into the same pharmacy, limps up to the pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is black and blue, and skin is hanging off in some areas.
The man says, "Gimme a bottle of Deep Heat."
The pharmacist replies in horror, "You can't put Deep Heat on that!"
The man says, "No, it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up."

Jacob, age 92, and Rebecca, age 89, are all excited about their decision to get married. They go for a stroll to discuss the wedding and on the way they pass a drugstore. Jacob
suggests they go in. Jacob addresses the man behind the counter:
'Are you the owner?' The pharmacist answers yes.
Says Jacob:' We're about to get married. Do you sell heart medication?'
Pharmacist:' Of course we do.'
Jacob:' How about medicine for circulation?'
Pharmacist:' All kinds.'
Jacob:' Medicine for rheumatism, scoliosis?'
Pharmacist:' Definitely.'
Jacob:' How about Viagra?'
Pharmacist:' Of course.'
Jacob:' Medicine for memory problems, arthritis, jaundice?'
Pharmacist:' Yes, a large variety. The works.'
Jacob:' What about vitamins, sleeping pills, Geritol, antidotes for Parkinson's disease?'
Pharmacist:' Absolutely.'
Jacob:' You sell wheelchairs and walkers?'
Pharmacist:' All speeds and sizes.'
Jacob says to the more...

One day a young man went to a pharmacy and asked the little old lady behind the counter if he could speak with the pharmacist.
"I am the pharmacist," she informed him.
"Oh, in that case forget it," he replied and started to leave.
"Young man," the lady said to him, "My sister and I have been
pharmacists for forty years and there is nothing we haven't heard, so
what is your problem?"
"Well," the young man said reluctantly, "I have a problem with
erections. Once I get hard, it won't go down for hours and hours, no
matter how much I masturbate or how many times I have intercourse!
Please, can you give me something for it?"
"I'll have to go in the back and talk to my sister," she informed
him. About ten minutes later she came back.
"Young man, I have consulted with my sister and the best we can give you is $600 a week and a third interest in the pharmacy."

Woman: Can I get Viagra here?
Pharmacist: Yes.
Woman: Can I get it over the counter?
Pharmacist: If you give me two of them, you can.

One day a young man went to a pharmacy and asked the little old lady behind the counter if he could speak with the pharmacist. "I am the pharmacist," she informed him. "Oh, in that case forget it," he replied and started to leave. "Young man," the lady said to him, "my sister and I have been pharmacists for forty years and there is nothing we haven't heard, so what is your problem?" "Well," the young man said reluctantly, "I have a problem with erections. Once I get hard, it won't go down for hours and hours, no matter how much I have intercourse! Please, can you give me something for it? "I'll have to go in the back and talk to my sister." she informed him. About ten minutes later she came back. "Young man, I have consulted with my sister and the best we can give you is $1000 a week and a third interest in the pharmacy."

A middle aged man, about 5 foot 8 inches tall, walks into a Walmartand asks where the pharmacy counter is. He is directed to it.When he reaches it, he asks to see the pharmacist.The pharmacist comes and the man, looking around furtively, asks quietly, "Do you sell Viagra here?"The pharmacist answers firmly, "Yes, sir. We certainly do."The man then asks, "Do you think I could get it over the counter?"The pharmacist thinks for a moment and then says, "Perhaps, if you took five or six pills at once you might."

A duck walks into a drugstore and says to the pharmacist, "Gimme a chap stick."
The pharmacist asks the duck, "Will that be cash or charge?"
The duck replies, "Just put it on my bill."
The next day, the duck goes back to the drugstore and says to the clerk, "Give me a box of condoms."
The clerk says, "Do you want me to also put them on your bill?"
The duck says, "Hell no, I'm not that kind of duck!"