Pickle Jokes / Recent Jokes

You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce. It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades. You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays. The marriage of imbeciles and feeble-minded persons is prohibited. (Repealed) It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway. No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind. Devon It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. Guilford Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display. Hartford You aren`t allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands. You may not educate dogs. It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday. New Britain It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire. Southington Silly string is banned. Waterbury It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle, or sing while working on a customer.

There was a scotish man, a english man and a irish man, one day at work they were having there lunch the scottish man had pickle sandwichs and said if i get the same sandwich tomorrow he'd kill himself and the english man got ham sandwich and said he'd kill himself if he had ham sandwich tomorrow and and the irish man got cheese sandwich and said the same as the scottish and english man.
the next day they all the same sandwich so they kill thereself at the funeral the scottish mans wife said only if he told me he didnt like pickle, the english mans wife said only if he told me he didnt like hamand the irish man wife said he made his own sandwichs

You can be stopped by the police for biking over 65 miles per hour. In order for a pickle to officially be considered a pickle, it must bounce. It is illegal to dispose of used razor blades. You cannot buy any alcohol after 8pm or on Sundays. The marriage of imbeciles and feeble-minded persons is prohibited. (Repealed) It is illegal to discharge a firearm from a public highway. No one may use a white cane, unless they are blind. It is unlawful to walk backwards after sunset. Only white Christmas lights are allowed for display. You aren't allowed to cross a street while walking on your hands. You may not educate dogs. It is illegal for a man to kiss his wife on Sunday. It is illegal for fire trucks to exceed 25mph, even when going to a fire. Silly string is banned. It is illegal for any beautician to hum, whistle, or sing while working on a customer.

A woman walks into a bar already wasted. She goes up to the bar and says,"
Beer tender, get me a bubble martuni with a little pickle in it."
So, the bar tender gives the women her drink. She downs it, and again she says,"
Beer tender, get me another bubble martuni with two little pickles in it."
Bar tender gives it to her and the woman downs it. Then she says, "
Beer tender give me a little peptobismal I have a little heartburn."
Bar tender says,"
First of all its not Beer tender, its bar tender, its not a bubble, its a double, its not a martuni, its a martini, its not a pickle its an olive and you dont have heartburn your left tits in the ashtray!"

After every line I type, say out loud to yourself, Hairy Pickle
There once was a guy named
He lived in a town called
Nobody did like
So they hung him buy his

Pickle Juice and Tickle Me went on a boat ride. Pickle Juice fell out of the boat. Who is left in the boat?
You should have someone read this to you.

A man went into a deli shop and took a seat at the lunch counter.

"Give me a corned beef sandwich," he ordered.

"Corned beef sandwich is not on the menu, but I can give you a sandwich with corned beef in it, like our Midnight Special."

"What's a Midnight Special?"

"A triple decker with corned beef, tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, on toasted raisin bread."

"Could you just place a piece of corned beef between two slices of white bread and serve it to me on a plate?"

"Why, sure!" Then, turning to the sandwich man, he sang out:

"One Midnight Special. Make it one deck, hold the tongue, bologna, tomato, lettuce, onion, pickle and mayonnaise, and make the raisin bread white, untoasted!"