Picnic Jokes / Recent Jokes
You might be a preacher if...You've waded in a creek wearing a necktie.You've ever dreamed you were preaching only to awaken and discover who you were.You'd rather negotiate with terrorists than the church organist.A church picnic is no picnic.You've ever wanted to fire the church and form a congregation search committee.You've been tempted to take up an offering at a family reunion.You've ever wanted to give the soundman some feedback of your own.You've ever wanted to lay hands on a deacon, and you weren't thinking of praying for him.You often feel like you're herding mules rather than shepherding sheep.Your sermons have a happy ending; everyone's happy when it ends!You've never preached on TV, but your wife made you get down before you break something.It's your job to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable.
Question = How can you tell you are at a gay picnic?
Answer = The hot dogs taste like shit!
What is the difference between a picnic table and a black person?
A picnic table can support a family
Women truly are better than men. Otherwise, they'd be intolerable. - Ed AbbeyIn everything but brains and brawn, women are vastly superior to men. - Ed AbbeyGirls, like flowers, bloom but once. But once is enough. - Edward AbbeyWomen who love only women may have a good point. - Edward AbbeyWomen: We cannot love them all. But we must try. - Edward AbbeyThe feminists have a legitimate grievance. But so does everyone else. - Edward AbbeyHer figure described a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak. - Woody AllenWoman: A creature whom a man can't get along with or without. Animal usually living in the vicinity of man, and having a rudimentary susceptibility to domestication. - Ambrose BierceWoman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them. - DumasWomen! You can't live with them, you can't do most positions without them. - Dan Fielding (from the "Night Court" television series)The great question... Which I have not been able to more...