Pier Jokes

A Scottish old timer in Scotland, in a bar, talking to a young man.
Old Man speaks; "Lad, look out there to the field. Do ya see that fence? Look how well it's built. I built that fence stone by stone with me own two hands. I piled it for months. But do they call me McGreggor-the Fence-Builder? Nooooo!"
Then the old man gestured at the bar.
"Look here at the bar. Do ya see how smooth and just it is? I planed that surface down by me own achin' back. I carved that wood with me own hard labor, for eight days. But do they call me McGreggor-the Bar Builder? Nooooooo!"
Then the old man points out the window.
"Eh, Laddy, look out to sea... Do ya see that pier that stretches out as far as the eye can see? I built that pier with the sweat off me back. I nailed it board by board. But do they call me McGreggor-the
Pier-Builder? Nooooo!"
Then the old man looks around nervously, trying to make sure no one is paying attention and says: more...

American businessman was at a pier in a small coastal Mexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fin tuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality of his fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didn't he stay out longer and catch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his family's immediate needs. The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest of his time. The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine and play guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor." The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could help you. You should spend more time fis hing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from the bigger boat, you could buy several more...

American businessman was at a pier in a small coastalMexican village when a small boat with just one fisherman docked. Inside the small boat were several large yellow-fintuna. The American complimented the Mexican on the quality ofhis fish and asked how long it took to catch them. The Mexican replied only a little while. The American then asked why didnt he stay out longer andcatch more fish? The Mexican said he had enough to support his familysimmediate needs. The American then asked the Mexican how he spent the rest ofhis time. The Mexican fisherman said, "I sleep late, fish a little, play with my children, take siesta with my wife, Maria, stroll into the village each evening where I sip wine andplay guitar with my amigos. I have a full and busy life, senor." The American scoffed, "I am a Harvard MBA and could helpyou. You should spend more time fis hing and, with the proceeds, buy a bigger boat. With the proceeds from thebigger boat, you could buy several boats, more...

Two hunters traveled to Canada to hunt moose. They searched around and found a bush pilot with a good
reputation. They hired him and had him fly them to a cabin located by a small remote lake in the
Northwest Territories. The pilot carefully landed the plane on the lake, and let the two hunters off
at the pier. Over the roar of his engine, the pilot told them, "Now this lake is mighty short, and I
won't have much room to take off, so I can only take out one moose. OK, fellas?"
The hunters readily agreed. The pilot said he would return in one week, turned his plane around, and
flew off.
One week later, the pilot returned. He carefully landed his plane on the lake, pull up to the pier,
and looked out in dismay. There sat the two hunters on the pier, all smiles, with two dead moose. The
pilot shut off his engine, climbed out, and told the hunters, "Listen fellas. I told you, only one
moose."
Both hunters more...

Handsome hunk is jogging down the beach when he sees a girl in a
wheelchair sitting on a pier crying. He runs over and asks why she's
crying.
"I've never been kissed," she sobs. So the hunk lifts her up,
cradles her in his arms, and gives her a long, passionate kiss.
"Now," he says, "you've been kissed." He puts her back in her chair
and continues to run.
A week later, he's out jogging again when he sees the same girl on
the same pier, crying again.
"What is it this time?" he asks.
"I've never been screwed," the girl sobs.
Again, the hunk picks her up and cradles her gently. He slowly
moves to the end of the pier, kissing her as he did the first time.
Suddenly, he throws her as far out in the water as he can.
"Now," he calls to her, "you're screwed."