Pile Jokes / Recent Jokes

Knock-Knock
Who's there?
I'm a pile up.
I'm a pile up who?
Yes, you are a pile of poo!

Construction, and many more....!

"Construction site"
An Italian, Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction
site. The manager points out a huge pile of sand and says to the
Italian, "You're in charge of sweeping". To the Irishman, "You're in
charge of shovelling". To the Chinese guy, "And you're in charge of
supplies".
"Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a
dent in that pile."
So the manager goes away for a couple of hours. And when he returns,
the pile of sand is untouched. He says to the Italian, "Why didn't you
sweep any of it?
The Italian guy replies, "I didn't have a broom. You said the Chinese
guy was in charge of the supplies, but he disappeared and I couldn't
find him."
So then the manager turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel.
The Irishman replies, "I couldn't get more...

An Italian, an Irishman and a Chinese fellow are hired at a construction site.

The foreman points to a huge pile of sand and says to the Italian guy, "You're in charge of sweeping." To the Irishman he says "You're in charge of shovelling." To the Chinese guy, "You're in charge of supplies."

He then says "Now, I have to leave for a little while. I expect you guys to make a dent in that there pile." So the foreman goes away for a couple hours, but when he returns the pile of sand is untouched.

He says to the Italian: "Why didn't you sweep any of it?" The Italian replies in a heavy accent, "I no gotta broom, an' you tella me dat de Chinese'a guy supposa bringa da supplies, but he disappear and I no finda him."

Then the foreman turns to the Irishman and asks why he didn't shovel. The Irishman replies in his heavy brogue, "Aye, ye did lad, but I counna get meself a shovel. Ye left more...

Excerpts from Readers's Digest. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- My 4 year old son came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it in the garbage. He stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a charming little smile, "We better throw this one out too then,' cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago. -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note from his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are not necessarily those of his parents." -------------------------------------------------------------------------------- A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with more...

The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples. The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray, "Take only one. God is watching."Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. One child whispered to another, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."

A Little Johnny went to sit on Santa's lap, and Santa asked him what he wanted
for Christmas.

Little Johnny answered, "A damn swingset in the backyard."

"Excuse me?" said Santa.

"I want a damn swingset in my backyard," repeated Little Johnny.

Santa said, "You'll have to ask nicer if you want Santa to bring you something.
Let's try again. What else do you want?"

Little Johnny answered, "A damn sandbox for the side yard."

"You have to ask politely! One more time. What else do you want for Christmas?"

Little Johnny thought for a minute, then said, "I want a damn trampoline in
the front yard."

Santa sighed and set Little Johnny off his lap. "I'm sorry son, I can't give
anything to someone who talks like you do. I'm not bringing you anything for
Christmas."

Santa then called Johnny's more...

A very modest man was in hospital undergoing a series of tests, the last of which left his bodily functions extremely upset. After making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he figured that the latest episode was just that, so remained where he was. However, he suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was so embarrassed he was unable to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure, he jumped out of bed, gathered the sheets and threw them out of the hospital window.
A drunk was walking by the hospital at that precise moment and the sheets landed on him. The drunk began yelling, cursing and swinging his arms violently in an attempt to free himself of the sheets which finally ended up in a tangled pile at his feet.
As he stood there staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard who had witnessed the entire incident, approached him and asked, "What's going on here?"
The drunk, still staring down at the pile at his feet, replied, "I'm not more...