Pittsburgh Jokes / Recent Jokes

A group of young businessmen were chatting at the bar, and decides to share his recent
embarrassment with the others. He tells them that he was booking a plane ticket to Pittsburgh, but
he
was so preoccupied with the beautiful breasts of the girl to the counter, that instead of saying "I'd
like
a ticket to Pittsburgh", he said, "I'd like a picket to Titsburg!"!
An older guy nearby hears the story and says, "You know, I had a similar experience with my wife
this morning. We were sitting at the breakfast table. and I meant to say, "Darling, could you please
pass the butter". .. but what came out was, "You bitch, you're ruining my fucking life!"

There were three priests in a railroad station, all wanting to go home to Pittsburgh. Behind the ticket counter was a very, very shapely lass, well endowed, gorgeous, amazing woman. The priests were all in embarrassing new territory, so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets. The first priest approached the window..."Young lady," he began, "I would like three pickets to titsburg." Whereupon he completely lost his composure and fled. The second priest approached..."Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh," he began, "and I would like the change in nipples and dimes." He turns red and runs away. Then came the third..."Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh, and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And I must say," he continued, "if you insist on dressing like that when you get to the pearly gates - St. Finger's going to shake his peter at you!"

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He immediately notices that the guy next to him also has a black eye.

He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence: we both have black eyes. Mind if I ask how you got yours?"

So the guy tells him: "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident, sort of. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the biggest breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying: I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh, I said: I'd like a picket to Tittsburgh." "She socked me one."

The first guy responded, "Mine was a tongue twister too."
"I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife: Please pour me a bowl of Corn Flakes, but I accidentally said: You ruined my life, you lousy bitch.''

A guy boards a train bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He immediately notices that the guy next to him has a deeply bruised, black eye. "Heck, what a coincidence! We both have black eyes! Mind if I ask how you got yours?"

"Well," explains the man, "I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with beautiful breasts was behind the counter. When I asked to purchase a ticket to Pittsburgh, I accidentally blurted out' I'd like a picket to Tittsburgh' and so she sucker-punched me!"

The man continues, "What's your story?"

The other guy explains, "I was at the breakfast table and I meant to say to my wife,' Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties,' but I accidentally said,' You ruined my life you stupid bitch.'"

A guy with a black eye boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye, too. He says to him, "Hey, this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes mind if I ask how you got yours?" The other guy says, "Well, it just happened, it was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the most massive breasts in the world was there. So, instead of saying,' I'd like two tickets to Pittsburgh,' I accidentally said,' I'd like two pickets to Tittsburgh'.... so she socked me a good one." The first guy replied, "Wow! This is unbelievable. Mine was a tongue-twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife, "Please pour me a bowl of Frosties, honey.' But I accidentally said,' You have ruined my life you evil, self-centered, fat-assed bitch.'

A guy boards a train bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He immediately notices that the guy next to him has a deeply bruised, black eye. "Heck, what a coincidence! We both have black eyes! Mind if I ask how you got yours?"
"Well," explains the man, "I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with beautiful breasts was behind the counter. When I asked to purchase a ticket to Pittsburgh, I accidentally blurted out' I'd like a picket to Tittsburgh' and so she sucker-punched me!" The man continues, "What's your story?"
The other guy explains, "I was at the breakfast table and I meant to say to my wife,' Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties,' but I accidentally said,' You ruined my life you stupid bitch.'"

A guy boards his plane bound for Pittsburgh and sits down in his seat. He notices immediately that the guy next to him has a black eye. He says to him, "Hey this is a coincidence, we both have black eyes, mind if I ask how you got yours? Other guy: "Well, it just happened. It was a tongue twister accident. See, I was at the ticket counter and this gorgeous blonde with the hugest tits in the world was there. So, instead of saying' I'd like a ticket to Pittsburgh', I accidentally said' I'd like a Picket to Tittsburgh.' And then she socked me one." First guy: "Mine was a tongue twister too. I was at the breakfast table and I wanted to say to my wife:' Please pour me a bowl of Wheaties.' But I accidentally said:'You ruined my life you fuckin' bitch!'"