Pizza Jokes / Recent Jokes

*REAL SIGNS FROM AROUND THE WORLD

Plumber: "We repair what your husband Fixed."

Pizza shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one Weak."

Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello, can we pick your nose?"

Sign at the psychic's Hotline: "Don't call us, we'll call you."

At a Towing Company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We wants tows."

Billboard on the side of the road: "Keep your eyes on the road and stop reading these signs."

On an Electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."

In a Non-smoking Area: "If we see smoking we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."

On Maternity Room Door: "Push, Push, Push."

At an Optometrist's Office "If you don't see what you're looking for you've come to the right place."

On a Butcher's window: "Let me more...

At a radiator shop (A-1 Radiator)
"Best Place in Town to take a Leak"

Sign over a gynecologist's office
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."

On a Plumbers truck:
"We repair what your husband tried to fix."

On the trucks of a local plumbing company in NE Pennsylvania:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."

Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."

At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout"

Door of a plastic surgeon's office:
"Hello. Can we pick your nose or would you rather do it"

At a laundry shop: "How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot.
Would that be satisfactory?"

At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."

On an more...

Sign over a gynecologist's office "Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
At a military hospital-door to endoscopy: "To expedite your visit, please back in"
On a Plumbers truck: "We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company: "Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza Shop slogan: "7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee: "Invite us to your next blowout."
Door of a plastic surgeon's office: "Hello. Can we pick your nose?"
At a towing company: "We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an electrician's truck: "Let us remove your shorts."
In a non-smoking area: "If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door: "Push. Push. Push."
At an optometrist's office: "If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come more...

Christian Coalition-Approved Nicknames for Breasts

- Mounds of Shame
- Democrat Catchers
- Pastor Baiters
- Heavenly Canteens
- Pearly Weights
- Communion Woofers
- Hooteronomies
- Sweater Undulations
- Beelzeboobs
- Racks of lambs of God
- Pamela 36:D
- The Daughters of Lactiticus
- Pizza Pizza
- First and Second Mammalonians
- NFRU (Not for Recreational Use)

Sign over a gynecologist's office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
On a Plumbers truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On the trucks of a local plumbing company;
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
Pizza shop slogan:
"7 days without pizza makes one weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
At a laundry shop:
"How about we refund your money, send you a new one at no charge, close the store and have the manager shot. Would that be satisfactory?"
At a towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."
On an electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a nonsmoking area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door:
"Push. Push. Push."
At an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see more...

A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces. She responded, "Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."

A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: "What is the usual tip?"

"Well," replied the youth, "this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I`ll be doing great." "Is that so?" snorted Larry. "Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here`s five dollars."

"Thanks," replied the youth, "I`ll put this in my school fund."

"What are you studying in school?" asked Larry.

The lad smiled and said: "Applied psychology."