Poker Jokes / Recent Jokes

Little Johnny had become a real nuisance while his father tried to concentrate on his Saturday afternoon poker game with friends and relatives. His father tried every way possible to get Johnny to occupy himself...television, ice cream, homework, video games...but the youngster insisted on running back and forth behind the players and calling out the cards they held.The other players became so annoyed that they threatened to quit the game and all go home. At this point, the boy's uncle stood up, took Johnny by the hand, and led him out of the room. The uncle soon returned back to the poker table without Johnny, and without comment the game resumed.For the rest of the afternoon, little Johnny was nowhere to be seen and the card players continued without any further interruptions.After the poker game ended, the father asked Johnny's uncle, "What in the world did you say to Johnny? I haven't heard a peep from him all day!""Not much," the boy's uncle replied. "I more...

Little Johnny has a question, so he goes around the house to find his father. He opens his dad's bedroom door and finds his mom and dad humping away on the bed! "Dad!" says Johnny, "What are you doing!" Johhny's father stops humping for a second and says "Well, Johnny, I'm playing poker...and your mother's the wild card". "Oh,"says Johnny and he leaves the room. Still in need of an answer to his question, Little Johnny set out to look for his big brother, Ernie. He opens his brother's bedroom door and finds Ernie and his sister Thelma humping away! "Ernie!" cried Johnny, "What are you doing!". Ernie stops humping for a second and says, "Well...I'm playing poker, Johnny... and Thelma is the wildcard. "Oh", says Johnny and he leaves the room. Later, Johnny's dad approached Johnny's room to call him to dinner. He opens Johnny's bedroom door and finds Johnny wacking off like it was going out of style! more...

Six retired Floridians were playing poker in the condo clubhouse when Meyerwitz loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest, and drops dead at the table. Showing respect for their fallen comrade, the other five continue playing standing up. Finkelstein looks around and asks, "So, who's gonna tell his wife?" They cut cards. Goldberg picks the two of clubs and has to carry the news. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse. "Discreet? I'm the most discreet person you'll ever meet. Discretion is my middle name. Leave it to me." Goldberg goes over to the Meyerwitz apartment and knocks on the door. The wife answers thru the door and asks what he wants? Goldberg declares: "Your husband just lost $500 in a Poker game and is afraid to come home. "Tell him to drop dead!" yells the wife. "I'll go tell him." says Goldberg.

Did ya hear about the blonde who brought a bag of frozen french fries to a poker game?
Someone told her to bring her own chips.

Once you're married, sex is like poker. You don't need a good partner, just a good hand.

One night a boy wakes up and goes into his parents room and they're having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says "we're playing poker" and the mother says "& I'm his partner".
He then goes into his grandparents room and asks what they're doing. The grandfather says "We're playing poker" and the grandmother says "& I'm his partner".
He then goes into his brothers room and he's wanking. He asks what he's doing. The brother says "I'm playing poker".
The other brother asks why he doesn't have a partner and the brother replies, "You don't need a partner if you have a good hand !"

One night a boy wakes up and goes into his parents room and they're having sex. He asks what they're doing and the father says "we're playing poker" and the mother says "& I'm his partner".He then goes into his grandparents room and asks what they're doing. The grandfather says "We're playing poker" and the grandmother says "& I'm his partner".He then goes into his brothers room and he's wanking. He asks what he's doing. The brother says "I'm playing poker".The other brother asks why he doesn't have a partner and the brother replies, "You don't need a partner if you have a good hand !"