Polish Jokes / Recent Jokes
Last week at work, I was telling Polish jokes, and a guy told me to cut it out because he was Polish, and he didn`t think it was funny. A little while later, I told a few more because I thought he wasn`t around. He was so mad that he followed me to my car at closing time, and pulled out a razor. It was a darn good thing that he didn`t have anywhere to plug it in!
The scene: A train compartment in Poland in the 1950`s. A young Polish peasant, a Russian soldier, a beautiful young girl and an older woman in it. The train goes through a tunnel. It`s totally dark for a moment. A kiss is heard and then the sound of a face being slapped. As the train comes out of the tunnel, the Russian soldier is rubbing his sore cheek... The old Polish woman is thinking to herself: "Serves him right! I am glad the beautiful young girl slapped him. These Russians have no shame." The young Polish woman is thinking: "What an idiot! He had a chance to kiss me and he chose to kiss the old woman. I am glad she slapped him!" The Russian soldier is thinking: "Very clever of the Polish guy to kiss the young girl and let me take the whacking." The young Polish peasant thinks: "Brilliant idea to kiss my own hand and slap the Russian on his faceÉ"
Did you hear about the Polish girl who tried to trade her menstrual cycle in on a Honda?
There were three guys that wanted to take a citizenship test. One was French one was Russian and of course the other Polish. They were given books to study from and the next day they were all ready to take the test. However, they were all good friends and one of them came up with a brilliant idea to write down the answers on a piece of paper and put it in their underwear. The proctor asked the Frenchman, "Who was the first president of the U.S." So the Frenchman looks down into his underwear and said, "George Washington." Then the proctor asked the Russian, "Who was the sixteenth president of the U.S.?" So the Russian looks down and says, "Abraham Lincoln." When it came to the Polish guy, the proctor said, "Who is the current President of the U.S.?" The Polak answered, "Fruit of the Loom."
How do you stop a Polish tank? Shoot the Polak pushing it.
Did you hear about the Polish library that burned down?
It's okay... they saved the book.