Polish Jokes / Recent Jokes

Did you hear about the Polish girl who said she`d do anything for a fur coat? Now she can`t button it over her belly.

Why do Polish stadiums use Astroturf? To keep the cheerleaders from grazing.

Two Polish guys were taking their first train trip to Warsaw on the train. A vendor came down the corridor selling bananas which theyd never seen before. Each bought one. The first one eagerly peeled the banana and bit into it just as the train went into a tunnel. When the train emerged from the tunnel, he looked across to his friend and said, "I wouldnt eat that if I were you." "Why not?" "I took one bite and went blind for half a minute."

Did you hear about the Polak that had body odor on one side only? He didn`t know where to buy Left Guard.

A few nights ago a few friends and I were in a bar, telling all the polish jokes we knew; boy what a feast! Anyway, I ducked into the restroom to sprinkle the old porcelain. While I was in there, this big guy came in and said to me, "Hey pal, I'm Polish and I don't like you telling all those Polish jokes!"

So I said, "Well, they're not against you, pal, just against anyone in Poland."

"My mother is in Poland!" He screams, and pulls out a razor.

Boy was I scared! I was sure he would have killed me if he had found a place to plug it in.

A Polak goes to a drug store to buy condoms for a big date that he has. The clerk says, "That`ll be $2.59 plus tax." "What?" exclaims the Pole. "They don`t stay up by themselves?"

Two Polish girls were walking down the street on a Saturday afternoon. One looks over and notices that her friend is walking a bit oddly, with her legs far apart. "Zelda, " she asks, "why are you walking like that? Is something wrong?" "Hey, I`ve got a big date tonight," says Zelda. "My hair`s in curlers."