Politician Jokes / Recent Jokes

A minister was asked by a politician,"Name something the government can do to help the church." The minister replied, "Quit making one dollar bills."

After spending a night at a hotel with a prostitute, the politician took $300 out of his wallet and placed it on the dressing table.
"Thanks," she said. "But I only charge $20."
"Twenty bucks for the entire night?" the amazed politician replied. "You can't make a living on that."
"Oh, don't worry," the whore replied. "I do a little blackmail on the side!"

A politician will find an excuse to get out of anything, except office.

1. Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress in 1846.
John F Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946.

2. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960.

3. The names Lincoln and Kennedy each contain seven letters.
Both were particularly concerned with civil rights.
Both wives lost a child while living in the White House.

4. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.

5. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's secretary was named Lincoln.

6. Both were assassinated by Southerners.

7. Both were succeeded by Southerners named Johnson.

8. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908.

9. John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in more...

Former Yonkers mayor and the Republican challenger to Hillary Rodham Clinton, John Spencer accused her of being ugly and "spent millions in plastic surgery" to make her look good.
Isn't this what we want in a politician, someone who calls it as he sees it.

A minister was asked by a politician,"Name something the government can do to help the church."The minister replied, "Quit making one dollar bills."

A politician was speaking at a particular function and as usual was making promises and more promises. He was being heckled by a member of the audience who kept asking, after each promise, "When? When?".

After a while the politician couldn't take it anymore so he asked the man if he was a farmer. The man said "Yes."

The politician the proceeded to ask the man "When you put a bull in a pen with a lot of cows, do you expect to get immediate results?"

The man replied "No! However, I expect to see a lot of content faces in the morning."