Politics Jokes / Recent Jokes

This test only has one question, but it's a very important one. By giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally. No one else will know, so you won't be fooling anyone but yourself if you give anything but a truthful answer. The test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision. Remember, your answer needs to be honest, yet spontaneous. Please read slowly and thoughtfully, giving due consideration to each line.Here's the situation:You are in Florida; Miami to be specific. There is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. This is a flood of Biblical proportions. You are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.The situation is nearly hopeless. You're trying to shoot career-making photos. There are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. Nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury.Suddenly you more...

Greetings prospective White House interns!
This year, our program is heading into its 69th year of bringing America's best and brightest to the Nation's Capitol to help the "Head Man" do his job. We expect that 1998 will be the most exciting one yet!
Why, you might be asking yourself, do I want to be a part of this demanding, yet rewarding program? Check this out:
* Be a part of the action in the pulsing, throbbing political scene of the hottest city in the world!
* Get up close and personal with some of America's movers and shakers!
* See rooms in the White House that even a VIP tour won't show you!
* Get total access to plenty of sensitive Presidential activities!
Sounds like it's for you? Just listen to this testimonial from a former intern:
"I couldn't believe it! After only a few months on the job answering phones and fetching coffee, there I was, debriefing the president. Getting involved in executive branch affairs is just more...

The good news about Clinton's health care is that everyone will be covered. The bad news is that it will be with dirt.

Bill Clinton and Al Gore went into a local diner for lunch. As they read the menu, the waitress came over and asked Clinton, "Are you ready to order, sir?"
Clinton replies, "Yes, I'd like a quickie."
"A quickie?!" the waitress replies with disgust. "Sir, given the current situation of your personal life, I don't believe that's a good idea. I'll come back later when you are ready to make an order from the MENU."
She walks away.
Gore leans over to Clinton and says, "Sir, it's pronounced 'Quiche'…"

Q. What do you call a sociopath from a rich family?
A. Mr. President!

Bill Clinton has been mistakenly characterized as a "yes man" when he is really a "yes ma'am."

All my money is an electronic blip.
Someone will realize that I am overpayed.
They will find out that I am only a parasite, but I make to much to give it up.
There are more of them than us.
I need to make as much as I can as quickly as I can while this opportunity lasts.
They may stop thinking that they are inferior.
God gave me my money, so no one has the right to take it away
There are so many more of them than us.
You can't trust politicians, they will take your money and still raise your taxes.
My lawyer is stealing from me.
My employees are stealing from me.
My chideren are stealing from me.
The Russians may go Communist again.
They might realize that no one controls the economy.
The Market will crash, and I won't be short.
Ralph Nader is running for President.
The Chinese may go Communist again.
There are so many more of them than us.
My kids will grow up gay and take Negro lovers.
There are so many more more...