Politics Jokes / Recent Jokes

Howard Dean's wife held a press conference today where she announced that until the election is over she will shave off all her pubic hair and sit on stage with husband Howard, and wearing no panties.
Astounded reporters asked what the message was, to which she replied "Read my lips. No more Bush"

How many Los Angeles police officers does ittake to beat up a black motorist? None. He fell down the stairs.

A liberal came upon a genie and said, "You're a genie. Can you grant me three wishes?" The genie replied, "Yes, but only if you're feeling generous enough to share your good fortune." The liberal said, "I'm a liberal. I'm always happy to share." The genie said, "O.K., then, whatever you wish for, I'll give every conservative in the country two of it. What's your first wish?" "I would like a new sports car." "O.K., you've got it, and every conservative in the country gets two sports cars. What's your second wish?" "I'd like a million dollars." "O.K., you get a million dollars, every conservative gets two million dollars. What's your third and final wish?" "Well, I've always wanted to donate a kidney..."

Q: What is the first thing that President Clinton says after waking up?
A: "Good morning, Bill."

Why does Clinton play the saxophone?
'Cause he can no longer play with his 'hore-monica!

(The PBS "American Masters" series did a show on Mort Sahl, who had
these anecdotes about Alexander Haig:)
Haig offered Sahl a Cuban cigar, whereupon Sahl wondered how an
anti-communist such as Haig could be supporting Cuba by smoking their
cigars. Haig replied that he preferred to think of it as burning their
crops to the ground.
Sahl and Haig were discussing Henry Kissinger. Sahl mentioned that, of
course, Kissinger could not be the US President since he was not born
in the US. Haig said, no, that's a common misconception, Kissinger was
born in the US. "How did he get that accent?" asked Sahl. Haig
replied, "From never listening to anybody."

Seems Ms. Lewinski went to her favorite cleaners the other day. She
said to the owner, "I have another dress for you to clean".
Being hard of hearing, he replied, "Come again?"
"No", Lewinsky said, "Mustard!"