Poof Jokes / Recent Jokes

She said,' For being such an exemplary married couple and for being loving to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish.

The wife answered,' Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband.

The fairy waved her magic wand and - poof! - two tickets for the Queen Mary II appeared in her hands.

The husband thought for a moment:' Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again. I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me.

The wife and the fairy were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish.

So the fairy waved her magic wand and poof!...the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of this story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember fairies are female.....

A government employee found an old brass lamp in a filing cabinet. When he dusted it off, a genie appeared and granted him three wishes.

"I'd love an ice-cold beer right now," he told the genie.

Poof! A beer appeared.

Next, the man said, "I wish to be on an island, surrounded by beautiful and willing women."

Poof! He was on an island with gorgeous women fawning all over him.

"Oh, man this is the life," the guy thought. "I wish I never had to work again."

And poof! He was back at his desk in the government office!

There were three men stranded on an island. They had been there for a very long time, when one morning a magic lamp washed up on the shore. The men saw it and picked it up.

The men rubbed the lamp and a genie appeared. After the genie rose up he granted the men one wish each.

The first man thought about his wish and made it count. After thinking, the man finally said, "I wish I was back at home." Then, poof, he disappeared.

The second man thought about his wish also. Finally, the man said, "I wish I was at home with my family." Then, poof, he vanished.

The last wish went to the last man on the island. He looked around and felt very lonely. It took a while to think of a good wish and finally an idea came to him.

The third man said, "I wish that my two best friends were back on this island with me." Poof, the two other men appeared on the island again.

An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
"Well, now," says the old lady, "I guess I would like to be really rich."
*** POOF *** Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
"And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess."
*** POOF *** She turns into a beautiful young woman.
"Your third wish?" asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. "Ooh - can you change him into a handsome prince?" she asks.
*** POOF ***
There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear, "Bet you're sorry you had me neutered."

A guy is golfing with his pretty wife, who is a very poor golfer. On the first hole she sends the ball smashing through the window of a nearby house.
The couple goes to the house to investigate the damage and finds the door open. They go inside and found a man sitting on a couch next to the broken window. There is also a broken oil-lamp.
The husband asks: "Did we break that too?" "Yes", replies the man.
"Sorry. Do you live here?" the husband asks.
"No, actually, I'm a genie." The man states. "I was sleeping in that lamp when your golf ball smashed it. Now, I'm supposed to give you three wishes, but I'm keeping one for myself since you smashed my lamp. OK, what'll they be?"
The husband thinks a moment: "First, make my wife a better golfer." "Poof! She's a better golfer", the genie announces.
"Second, I want a million bucks a week for life." "Poof! you get a million bucks a more...

A guy is golfing with his pretty wife, who is a very poor golfer. On the first hole she sends the ball smashing through the window of a nearby house.
The couple goes to the house to investigate the damage and finds the door open. They go inside and found a man sitting on a couch next to the broken window. There is also a broken oil-lamp.
The husband asks: "Did we break that too?"
"Yes", replies the man.
"Sorry. Do you live here?" the husband asks.
"No, actually, I'm a genie." The man states. "I was sleeping in that lamp when your golf ball smashed it. Now, I'm supposed to give you three wishes, but I'm keeping one for myself since you smashed my lamp. OK, what'll they be?"
The husband thinks a moment: "First, make my wife a better golfer."
"Poof! She's a better golfer", the genie announces.
"Second, I want a million bucks a week for life."
"Poof! you get a million more...

This guy is walking down the beach . He spots an old brass lantern in the sand . He picks it up . And starts knocking the sand off .
And this genie pops out of the lantern .
And declares . I am the divorce genie .
The guy amazed but dumbfoundwed says .
What in the hell is a divorce genie .
The genie says . What ever you ask for your ex gets two of .
And I am granting you three wishes .
What would you like?
So the guy thinks for minute .
First wish .
I want a Mercedes Convertable .
Poof .. Brand new Mercedes Convertable .
And the genie says .
Your ex just got 2 of these .
So for the second wish .
The guy says . I want 10 million dollars cash .
Poof he has 10 million dollars cash on the hood of his Mercedes .
And the Genie says .
Your ex has the same thing on each of her Mercedes .
So the guy says . Let me get this straight . What ever I wish for . She gets double .
And the Genie says yes .
So the guy more...