Posh Jokes / Recent Jokes

How do really posh dogs send messages? By predigree-mail.

David Beckham decides to try horseback riding, even though he hasn't had any
lessons or prior experience. He mounts the horse unassisted and the horse
immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady rhythmic pace as
Posh stands back in admiration, but then he begins to slip from the saddle.
In terror he grabs the horse's mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. He
tries to throw his arms around the horse's neck, but he slides down the side of
the horse anyway. The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping
rider.
Finally, he gives up his frail grasp and he attempts to leap away from the horse
and throw himself to safety. Unfortunately, his foot has become entangled in the
stirrup, now he is now at the mercy of the horses pounding hooves as his head is
struck against the ground over and over.
Posh stands there frantic, unable to do anything to help as his head is battered
against the ground. He is mere more...

A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier afterhaving eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills mostexclusive restaurants." Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims. So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with anabsolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, thefurrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, thatparticular fur goes for $65, 000." "No problem! I'll write you a check!""Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You maycome by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared the bank." So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns. The store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!""I just had to come by," grinned the guy,"to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"

Montreal Gazette's Top 50 Jokes from the 1999 Just For Laughs festival. -----------------------------------------------------------------1. (On going to war over religion:) You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend. 2. I used to smoke pot until I came to the conclusion... what was that conclusion, anyway? 3. (On the difference between men and women:) On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars. 4. Women like posh hotels; there's more for them to steal. Take them to a posh hotel and they all turn into the Artful Dodger. 5. And God said, "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything onSatan." 6. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse." 7. The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you're got millions more...

A man and his date walk into a very posh Rodeo Drive furrier afterhaving eaten a very expensive lunch at one of Beverly Hills mostexclusive restaurants."Show the lady your finest mink!" the fellow exclaims.So the owner of the shop goes in back and comes out with anabsolutely gorgeous full-length coat. As the lady tries it on, thefurrier sidles up to the guy and discreetly whispers, "Ah, sir, thatparticular fur goes for $65,000.""No problem! I'll write you a check!""Very good, sir." says the shop owner. "Today is Saturday. You maycome by on Monday to pick it up, after the check has cleared the bank."So the man and the woman leave. On Monday, the fellow returns.The store owner is outraged: "How dare you show your face in here?! There wasn't a single penny in your checking account!!""I just had to come by," grinned the guy,"to thank you for the most wonderful weekend of my life!"

Montreal Gazette's Top 50 Jokes from the 1999 Just For Laughs festival.
1. (On going to war over religion:) You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.
2. I used to smoke pot until I came to the conclusion... what was that conclusion, anyway?
3. (On the difference between men and women:) On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.
4. Women like posh hotels; there's more for them to steal. Take them to a posh hotel and they all turn into the Artful Dodger.
5. And God said, "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything on
Satan."
6. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse."
7. The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you're got millions of pals out there. Type in, more...

Montreal Gazette's Top 50 Jokes from the 1999 Just For Laughs festival.
1. (On going to war over religion:) You're basically killing each other to see who's got the better imaginary friend.2. I used to smoke pot until I came to the conclusion... what was that conclusion, anyway? 3. (On the difference between men and women:) On the one hand, we'll never experience childbirth. On the other hand, we can open all our own jars.4. Women like posh hotels; there's more for them to steal. Take them to a posh hotel and they all turn into the Artful Dodger.5. And God said, "Let there be Satan, so people don't blame everything on me. And let there be lawyers, so people don't blame everything onSatan."6. What are the three words guaranteed to humiliate men everywhere? "Hold my purse."7. The Web brings people together because no matter what kind of a twisted sexual mutant you happen to be, you're got millions of pals out there. Type in, "Find people that have sex with more...