Positions Jokes / Recent Jokes

In the Sex Ed class the teacher says, "All right, class, I want you to go home and come back tomorrow with as many positions as you can think of for making sex."The next day she says to Little Johnny in the back, "Well, John, how many positions did you come up with?"Johnny says, "Seventy-three."The teacher says, "Oh, my goodness... uh... very good, John, very good..."She calls on Becky in the front and says, "All right, Becky, how about you?"Becky says, "Gee, teacher, I only came up with one... where the guy just lays on top of the girl."Johnny yells, "Seventy-four."

"Darling" says a husband coyly to his wife: "let's swap positions tonight". "What a good idea" she replies, "you stand in front of the ironing board, and I'll sit in front of the TV and fart".

DURING the selections for the school football team, the coach gave the players the option of selecting their own playing positions. The players made up their minds and the coach began to ask them about their playing positions. The conversation went as follows:
Coach:' Banerjee?'
Banerjee:' Centre forward, Sir.'
Coach:' Kumar?'
Kumar:' Right back, Sir.'
Coach:' What about you, Singh?'
Singh:' There is a slight problem.'
Coach:' What?'
Singh:' My friends are wicked, they want me to play Left out, Sir.'
Coach:' So, what's the problem?'
Singh:' How can I play Left out? Won't I have to play outside the field, Sir?'

Q: Which positions does a violist use? A: First, third, and emergency.

What a rip-off. I went into our local bookstore and saw this huge display with a sign saying "Newly translated from the original French: 37 mating positions." Noticing that the books were already wrapped in plain brown paper, I just hadda buy one. Once safely at home I opened it, out of sight of my wife, and found that I had just purchased an expensive book about Chess.