Possible Jokes / Recent Jokes
Mary went to the doctor complaining of body odor." Do you wash?" the doctor asked the smelly young girl." Oh, yes," Mary answered. "Each morning, I start at my head and wash down as far as possible. Then I start at my feet and I wash up as far as possible." "Well," the doctor concluded, "Go home and wash' possible'!!!"
Young Man: Sir, may I know the time, please?
Old Man: Certainly not.
Young Man: Sir, but why? What are you going to lose, if you tell me the time?
Old Man: Yes, I may lose something if I tell you the time.
Young Man: But Sir, can you tell me how?
Old Man: See, if I tell you the time you will definitely thank me and may be tomorrow again you will ask me the time.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: May be we meet two three times more and you will ask my name and address.
Young Man: Quite possible.
Old Man: One day you may come to my house saying you were just passing by and came into wish me.
Then as a courtsey, I will offer you a cup of tea.
After my courteous approach you will try to come again. This time you will appreciate tea and ask who has made it.?
Young Man: Possible
Old Man: Then I will tell you that my daughter has and I will then have to introduce my young and pretty more...
* Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations.
* Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store.
* Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day.
* Start playing football -- see how many people you can get to join in.
* Run up to an employee (preferably a male) while squeezing your legs together and yell,' 'I need some tampons!!''
* Try on bras over top of your clothes.
* Make a trail of orange juice on the ground, leading to the restrooms.
* While walking around the store, sing in your loudest voice possible' 'Sex and Candy''
* Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone,' 'I think we've got a Code 3 in Housewares,'' and see what happens.
* Tune all the radios to a polka station, then turn them all off and turn the volumes to' '10.''
* Play with the automatic doors.
* Walk up to complete strangers and say,' 'Hi! I more...
The following information was gained through much arduous research
involving men and women from all backgrounds and walks of life. It
consists of the most often asked questions of women (i. e..
relationships, sex and life in general). All women who read this are
encouraged to use the wisdom contained therein to change their
behavior in accordance with the truths established below.
Q: How do I know if I'm ready for sex?
A: Ask your boyfriend. He'll know when the time is right. When it
comes to love and sex, men are much more responsible, since they're
not emotionally confused as women. It's a proven fact.
Q: Should I have sex on the first date?
A: YES. Before if possible.
Q: What exactly happens during the act of sex?
A: Again, this is entirely up to the man. The important thing to
remember is that you must do whatever he tells you without question.
Sometimes, however, he may ask you to do certain things that more...
Part 4 - (Opearting Systems)
------------------------
What kind of operating system is used by a Real Programmer? CP/M? God forbid - CP/M after all, is basically
a toy operating system. Even little old ladies and grade school students can understand and use CP/M.
Unix is a lot more complicated of course - the typical Unix hacker never can remember what the PRINT
command is called this week - but when it gets right down to it, Unix is a glorified video game. People don't
do Serious Work on Unix systems; they send jokes around the world on UUCP-net and write adventure games
and research papers.
No, your Real Programmer uses OS/370. A good programmer can find and understand the description of
IJK305I error (s)he just got in h(er)is JCL manual. A great programmer can write JCL without referring to
the manual at all. A truly outstanding programmer can find bugs burried in a 6 megabyte core dump without
using a hex calculator. (I have more...
1. Take shopping carts for the express purpose of filling them and stranding them at strategic locations. 2. Ride those little electronic cars at the front of the store. 3. Set all the alarm clocks to go off at ten minute intervals throughout the day. 4. Start playing Calvin ball; see how many people you can get to join in. 5. Contaminate the entire auto department by sampling all the spray air fresheners. 6. Challenge other customers to deuls with tubes of gift wrap. 7. Leave cryptic messages on the typewriters. 8. Re-dress the mannequins as you see fit. 9. When there are people behind you, walk REALLY SLOW, especially down thin narrow aisles. 10. Walk up to an employee and tell him in an official tone, "I think we've got a code 3 in Housewares," and see what happens. 11. Tune all the radios to a polka station; then turn them all off and turn the volume up to 10! 12. Play with the automatic doors. 13. Walk up to complete strangers and say, "Hi! I haven't seen you in so more...