Postman Jokes / Recent Jokes

What was Postman Pat's name after he retired? Pat!

Man comes home after an evening with the boys and says to his wife:"You wont believe what the boys told me."
The wife says "What?"
The husband replies:" they say that the postman has slept with every woman in our street except one"
The wife replies "Its probably that stuck up bitch Phyllis that lives on the corner."

There once was a girl named Sally Smith. Whenever she chewed gum she would say yes. And whenever she didn't chew gum she would say no.

One day Sally heard a knock at the door. When she opened the door, chewing her gum, she discovered it was the postman. The postman greeted her cheerfully, "Hello there Sally, I have a package for you"

Sally smiled.

The postman said, "Sally would you like me to bring the package inside as it is rather heavy?"

Sally said yes.

The postman said, "Sally would you like me to put the package in your bedroom?"

Sally said yes.

Once they reached Sally's bedroom, the postman turned to sally and said "Sally, would you like me to take that gum out of your mouth and shove it up your arse?"

Sally said yes.

So the postman took the gum out of Sally's mouth and proceeded to shove it up her arse.

The postman asked Sally, more...

Two postmen are on break having a cigarette. While on this break one postman says "Hey look at that snail". The other postman looks down and says "FUCK" and step steps on the snail. Postman 1 looks at him and says "Why'd you do that". Postman2 replys "Because that fucker has been following me all day."