Potato Jokes / Recent Jokes

There were three girls: a brunette, a redhead, and a blonde. They were running from the cops, when they ran to a farm and hid, the cops closely on their trail.
The brunette hid with the ducks. The redhead hid with the cows. And the blonde hid with potatoes.
The cops looked in the ducks' pen and the brunette said, "Quack, quack, quack..."
The cops then looked into the cows' area and the redhead said, "Moooooo..."
Finally, the cops looked in the the potato patch and the blonde said, "Potatoooooo..."

Submitted by Darcy

An old man lived alone in Idaho. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, Bubba, who used to help him, was in prison

The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his predicament.

Dear Bubba,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me.

Love, Dad

A few days later he received a letter from his son.

Dear Dad,

'For HEAVEN'S SAKE, Dad, don't dig up the garden! That's where I buried the GUNS!'

Love, Bubba

At 4 A. M. the next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire area without finding any guns. They apologized to the old man and left.

That same day the old man received more...

This exercise is suggested for seniors to build muscle strength in the arms and shoulders. It's very easy and it is suggested to be done three days a week.

Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, where you have plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb. potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides, and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, then relax.

Each day, you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb. potato sacks. Then 50-lb. potato sacks, and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb. potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute.

Once you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks.

A brunette, a redhead, and a blonde were robbing a supermarket when a police officer walked in the store.

The three women decide to hide in three potato sacks.

The cop kicks the first bag, and the brunette says, "meow", the cop says, "oh, its only a cat"

He kicks the second bag, and the redhead says, "woof, woof". The cop says, "its only a dog".

He kicks the third bag, and the blonde says, "potato"

A blonde, black and red were running from the police so they hid in potato sacks the policeman kicked the first bag with the black in it and she said "meow" only a cat said the policeman he kicked the second bag with the red in it and she said "woff" only a
dog then he kicked the last bag with the blonde in it and she said "potatoes"!

Mulder: We're too late. It's already been here.Scully: Mulder, I hope you know what you are doing.Mulder: Look, Scully, just like the other homes: Douglas fir, truncated, mounted, transformed into some sort of shrine; halls decked with boughs of holly; stockings hung by the chimney, with care.Scully: You really think someone's been here? Mulder: Someone or some thing.Scully: Mulder, over here-it's fruitcake. Mulder: Don't touch it! Those things can be lethal. Scully: It's O.K. There's a note attached: "Gonna find out who's naughty and nice."Mulder: It's judging them, Scully. It's making a list. Scully: Who? What are you talking about? Mulder: Ancient mythology tells of an obese humanoid entity who could travel at great speed in a craft powered by antlered servants. Once each year, near the winter solstice, this creature is said to descend from the heavens to reward its followers and punish its disbelievers with jagged chunks of anthracite.Scully: But that's legend, Mulder-a more...

Yechezkel: Mommy will you make me some potato latkes?
Mommy: GO ASK BUBBY/GRANDMA!
Yechezkel: Bubby/Grandma will you make me some potato latkes?
Bubby/Grandma: Sure honey.
Yechezkel: These potato latkes are yucky.
Bubby: YECHEZKEL SHUT-UP!