Practice Jokes / Recent Jokes

Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's well-oiled economic machine. It's only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail. What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it's something much more economically debilitating - and permanent. Three American lawyers have become the first foreign attorneys permitted to practice law in Japan. What's more, two of them are from New York! The decline has begun. Japan has one attorney for every 10, 000 residents, compared to the U. S. ratio of one attorney for every 390 residents. For every 100 attorneys trained in Japan, there are 1, 000 engineers. In the United States, that ratio is reversed. But a law that became effective on April 1 permits foreigners to practice in Japan for the first time since 1955. Already, an additional 20 American and six British lawyers have applied for permission to open more...

The first German serviceman killed in the war was killed by the Japanese (China, 1937), the first American serviceman killed was killed by the Russians (Finland 1940), the highest ranking American killed was LtGen. Lesley McNair, killed by the US Army Air Corps. So much for the allies.
The youngest US serviceman was 12 year old Calvin Graham, USN. He was wounded in combat and given a Dishonorable Discharge for lying about his age. (His benefits were later restored by act of Congress)
At the time of Pearl Harbor the top US Navy command was called CINCUS (pronounced "sink us"), the shoulder patch of the US Army's 45th. Infantry division was the Swastika, and Hitler's private train was named "Amerika". All three were soon changed for PR purposes.
More US servicemen died in the Air Corps than the Marine Corps. While completing the required 30 missions, your chance of being Killed was 71%.
Not that bombers were helpless. A B-17 carried 4 tons of bombs more...

Best wishes for an environmentally conscious, socially
responsible, low stress, non-addictive, gender-neutral, winter
solstice holiday, practiced within the most joyous traditions of
the religious persuasion of your choice, but with respect for
the religious persuasion of others who choose to practice their
own religion as well as those who choose not to practice a
religion at all; plus... A fiscally successful, personally
fulfilling, and medically uncomplicated recognition of the
generally accepted calendar year 2000, but not without due respect
for the calendars of choice of other cultures whose contributions
have helped make our society great, without regard to the race,
creed color, religious, or sexual preferences of the wishes.

Disclaimer: This greeting is subject to clarification or with-
drawal. It implies no promise by the wisher to actually implement
any of the wishes for her/himself or others and no more...

Toward the end of their senior year in high school, students were required to take a CPR course. The classes used the well known mannequin victim, Rescue Anne, to practice.
Rescue Anne was legless to allow for storage in a carrying case.
The class went off in groups to practice. As instructed, one of the students gently shook the doll and asked, "Are you all right?" He then put his ear over the mannequin's mouth to listen for breathing.
Suddenly, the student turned to the instructor and exclaimed, "She says she can't feel her legs!"

Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's well-oiled economic machine. It's only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail.What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it's something much more economically debilitating - and permanent.Three American lawyers have become the first foreign attorneys permitted to practice law in Japan. What's more, two of them are from New York! The decline has begun.Japan has one attorney for every 10,000 residents, compared to the U.S. ratio of one attorney for every 390 residents. For every 100 attorneys trained in Japan, there are 1,000 engineers. In the United States, that ratio is reversed.But a law that became effective on April 1 permits foreigners to practice in Japan for the first time since 1955. Already, an additional 20 American and six British lawyers have applied for permission to open practices in more...

Take heart, America. Three monkey wrenches have been thrown into Japan's well-oiled economic machine. It's only a mater of time before that powerful engine of productivity begins to sputter and fail.What could cause such a sharp turnaround? High interest rates? Increased unemployment? Lower productivity? No, it's something much more economically debilitating - and permanent.Three American lawyers have become the first foreign attorneys permitted to practice law in Japan. What's more, two of them are from New York! The decline has begun.Japan has one attorney for every 10,000 residents, compared to the U.S. ratio of one attorney for every 390 residents. For every 100 attorneys trained in Japan, there are 1,000 enginerrs. In the United States, that ratio is reversed.But a law that became effective on April 1 permits foreigners to practice in Japan for the first time since 1955. Already, an additional 20 American and six British lawyers have applied for permission to open practices in more...

Aren't all questions answerable?

Before they invented drawing boards what did they go back to?

Can you confuse an open mind with one that is just vacant?

Can you ever get tired of sleeping?

Could you explain what would Happen if in a Book the First Page said Everything in the Book Including the First Page was False?

Does a Bridge go Over Water or does Water go Under a Bridge?

Does a sense of humor bestow an evolutionary advantage?

Does an existentialist map have' You are here' written all over it?

Ever notice how hindsight's so much better than foresight? And do you think we'd save time if we walked in hindsight first?

Have you noticed that nostalgia isn't what it used to be?

How come things were so different before everything changed?

How many loud speakers does it take to proclaim the dropping of a pin?

If hind-sight is 20/20 does that make Heinz-sight more...