Prayers Jokes / Recent Jokes

Mother Superior was on her way to late morning prayers when she passed two novices just leaving early morning prayers, on their way to classes. As she passed the young ladies, Mother Superior said, "Good morning ladies."
The novices replied, "Good morning, Mother Superior, may God be with you."
But after they had passed, Mother Superior heard one say to the other, "I think she got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." This startled Mother Superior, but she chose not to pursue the issue.
A little further down the hall, Mother Superior passed two of the Sisters who had been teaching at the convent for several years. She greeted them with, "Good morning, Sister Martha, Sister Jessica, may God give you wisdom for our students today."
"Good morning, Mother Superior. Thank you, and may God be with you." But again, after passing, Mother Superior overheard, "She got up on the wrong side of the bed today." more...

In a small town in India, a person decided to open up his Bar business, which was right opposite to the Temple. The Temple & its congregation started a campaign to block the Bar from opening with petitions and prayed daily against his business.

Work progressed. However, when it was almost complete and was about to open a few days later, a strong lightning struck the Bar and it was burnt to the ground.

The temple folks were rather smug in their outlook after that, till the Bar owner sued the Temple authorities on the grounds that the Temple through its congregation & prayers was ultimately responsible for the demise of his bar shop, either through direct or indirect actions or means.

In its reply to the court, the temple vehemently denied all responsibility or any connection that their prayers were reasons to the bar shop's demise. As the case made its way into court, the judge looked over the paperwork at the hearing and commented:

"I more...

Once a man went to a temple to offer his prayers.
Fearing that his shoes would be stolen he left a message "I'm a professional boxer. Don't even think of stealing my shoes!" along with his shoes outside the temple.
When he came out after offering prayers he found his shoes had been stolen. In their place was a message "I am a profesional athlete. Don't even think of running after me".

There was a devote Islamic man who did his prayers five times a day.
Now, the first prayer was rather early in the morning, but he was always awake in time because the prayers were important. One morning, however, he was about to sleep though his prayers, when there was suddently a noice in the closet.
Realizing he was late, he quickly got up and said his prayers. After he was done, he went to look in his closet, and there was Iblis (the Devil).
The man said "Iblis, were you the one that woke me up?"
Iblis said "Yes".
The man replied "Well, why didn't you let me sleep through my prayers?".
And Iblis replied "Well, I thoguht about it, but then I realized how bad you'd feel, and how you'd try and make it up to God, so I decided I'd better wake you up."

There once was a husband and wife who were unable to have children. After consulting everyone who would listen to their problem, they were still unsatisfied. Finally, they consulted their family priest.
"My children," the priest began, "The Lord will listen to your prayers, and I am sure that you will be blessed with children shortly. In fact, I am planning an extended stay in Rome, and while I'm visiting the Vatican, I will light a candle for you."
"Thank you, Father, thank you!" said the couple.
Before leaving, the priest turned and said, "I am sure everything will work out just fine for you. My stay in Rome will be for quite some time
15 years. But when I return, I will be sure to pay you a visit."
And so, 15 years came and went, and the priest returned to the States.
While resting on his porch one mid-summer morning, he remembered the promise of paying a visit that he had made 15 years ago. So he made his way to more...

A Sunday school teacher asked a little girl if she said her prayers every night.

"No, not every night," declared the child. "Cause some nights I don't want anything!"

Two young boys were spending the night at their grandparents the week before Christmas. At bedtime, the two boys knelt beside their beds to say their prayers when the youngest one began praying at the top of his lungs. "I PRAY FOR A NEW BICYCLE... I PRAY FOR A NEW NINTENDO... I PRAY FOR A NEW VCR..." His older brother leaned over and nudged the younger brother and said, "Why are you shouting your prayers? God isn't deaf." To which the little brother replied, "No, but Grandma is!"