Precious Jokes

Miss Annabell had just returned from her big trip to New York City and was having refreshments on the front porch of her daddy's mansion with her southern belle friends. She tells them the stories of her trip as they stare spellbound. "You just wouldn't believe what they have there in New York City," says Miss Annabell. "They have men there who kiss other men on the lips."
Miss Annabell's friends fan themselves and say, "Oh my! Oh my!"
"They call them homosexuals," proclaims Miss Annabell.
"Oh my! Oh my," proclaim the girls as they fan themselves.
"They also have women there in New York City who kiss other women on the lips!"
"Oh my! Oh my," exclaim the girls. "What do they call them?" they ask.
"They call them lesbians," says Miss Annabell.
"They also have men who kiss women between the legs, there in New York City," sighs Miss Annabell.
"Oh my! Oh more...

1. IF YOU CONSIDER ONLY TAMIL AS THE MEDIUM OF INSTRUCTION IN ALL PLACES.

2. IF YOU EAT ONLY RICE ALWAYS.

3. IF WATER IS MORE PRECIOUS THAN GOLD BECAUSE WATER IS MORE PRECIOUS HERE.

4. IF YOU WILL NOT HELP ANOTHER TAM SUCCEED, IF HE SUCCEEDS YOU WILL BE THE MOST UNHAPPY PERSON IN THE WORLD

5. IF YOU THINK ANNA UNIVERSITY IS THE BEST FOR ENGINEERING AND YOU DON'T KNOW THAT THERE EXISTS AN IIT MADRAS

6. IF YOU SAY VANAKKAM TO A FOREIGNER INSTEAD OF SHAKING HANDS WITH HIM.

7. IF YOU CAN EVEN DARE TO TEASE A CHENNAI FEMALE.

8. IF THE ONLY CAREER OPTION IS IN SOFTWARE.

9. IF YOUR FINAL AIM TO LIVE IN USA EVEN THOUGH YOU WOULD BE A SWEEPER THERE.

10. IF YOU VOTE ONLY EITHER DMK OR AIADMK.

11. IF YOU ARE VERY STINGY TO SPEND ON AUTOS.

12. IF YOU HAVE RE. 1 WATER INSTEAD OF PEPSI WHEN YOU ARE THIRSTY.

13. IF YOU THINK S. RAMESH IS CAPABLE OF OPENING THE BATTING more...

The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

A couple of nuns who were nursing sisters had gone out to the country to minister to an outpatient. On the way back they were a few miles from home when their car ran out of gas. They were standing beside their car on the shoulder when a truck approached.

Seeing ladies of the cloth in distress, the driver stopped to offer his help. The nuns explained they needed some gas. The driver of the truck said he would gladly drain some from his tank, but he didn't have a bucket or can.

One of the nuns dug out a clean bedpan and asked the driver if he could use that. He said yes, and proceeded to drain a couple quarts of gas into the pan. He waved good-bye to the nuns and left.

The nuns were carefully pouring the precious fluid into their gas tank when the highway patrol came by.

The trooper stopped and watched for a minute, then he said: "Sisters, I don't think it will work, but I surely do admire your faith!"

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeepers heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that hes on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I dont fink my pet python weally gives a thit."