Connoisseur Jokes

In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery.
He strolled into the store and offered two dollars for the cat. "It's not for sale," said the proprietor.
"Look," said the collector, "that cat is dirty and undesirable, but I'm eccentric. I like cats that way. I'll raise my offer to ten dollars."
"It's a deal," said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten on the spot.
"For that sum I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer," said the connoisseur. "The kitten seems so happy drinking from it."
"Nothing doing," said the proprietor firmly. "That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week I've sold 34 cats."

The Saucer
Roberto is an art connoisseur and one day notices a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer in front of a delicatessen in Tel Aviv. He quickly realises with a shock that the saucer was a very rare and precious piece of pottery. He strolled into the store and offered £2 for the cat.
"It`s not for sale," said Abe, the proprietor.
"Look," said Roberto, "that cat is dirty and undesirable, but I`m eccentric. I like cats that way. I`ll raise my offer to £10."
"It`s a deal," said Abe, and pocketed the money.
"For that sum I`m sure you won`t mind throwing in the saucer," said Roberto. "The kitten seems so happy drinking from it."
"Nothing doing," said Abe firmly. "That`s my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week, I`ve sold 34 cats."

In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece of Ming Dynasty china.

He strolled into the store and offered five dollars for the cat. "It's not for sale," said Morris the proprietor.

"Look," said the collector, "that cat is dirty and undesirable, but I'm eccentric. I like cats that way. I'll raise my offer to ten dollars."

"Make it twenty and it's a deal," said Morris, and pocketed the $20 on the spot.

"For that sum I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer," said the antique connoisseur. "The kitten seems so happy drinking from it."

"Nothing doing," said Morris, the deli owner, firmly. "That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week I've sold 32 stray cats."

The connoisseur sat down at the bar and ordered a Martini. "Very dry," he insisted. "Twenty parts gin to one part vermouth."
"All right, sir," said the bartender. "Shall I twist a bit of lemon peel over it?"
"My good man, when I want lemonade, I'll ask for it."

In front of a delicatessen, an art connoisseur noticed a mangy little kitten lapping up milk from a saucer. The saucer, he realized with a start, was a rare and precious piece of pottery.
He strolled into the store and offered two dollars for the cat. "It's not for sale," said the proprietor.
"Look," said the collector, "that cat is dirty and undesirable, but I'm eccentric. I like cats that way. I'll raise my offer to ten dollars."
"It's a deal," said the proprietor, and pocketed the ten on the spot.
"For that sum I'm sure you won't mind throwing in the saucer," said the connoisseur. "The kitten seems so happy drinking from it." "Nothing doing," said the proprietor firmly.
"That's my lucky saucer. From that saucer, so far this week I've sold 34 cats."