Precious Jokes / Recent Jokes

THE famous writer, Nirad C. Choudhury, who is in his nineties and lives in Oxford, does not allow anyone to visit him without prior appointment. Once, a young reporter excused his intrusion by mumbling,' I know, Sir, that your moments are precious.'
'No, my young friend,' interrupted the old man, shaking his head.' It isn't that they're precious - it's that they're numbered.'

The most precious thing we have is life. Yet it has absolutely no trade-in value.

One day, two girls from Georgia were sitting on their front porch swing. One of them had just gotten back from the big city of New York and was telling her friend all about it.

She says, "You know," with a heavy southern drawl, "they have women up there who have sex with other women."

Her friend gasps, and replys, "Oh, do tell! What do they call them?"

"They call them lesbians," the first girl tells her. "And they have men who have sex with other men."

Her friend gasps once again, and says, "Oh, do tell! What do they call them?"

The first girl says, "They call them homosexuals." The first girl looks around to make sure no one is looking and whispers to her friend, "And you know... They have these men... Who'll put their face in a woman's private parts... And kinda lick around and stuff..."

The friend gasps once again and whispers back, more...

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks in the sweetest little lisp, "Excuthe me, mithter, do you keep widdle wabbits?" As the shopkeeper's heart melts, he gets down on his knees, so that he's on her level, and asks, "Do you want a widdle white wabby or a thoft and fuwwy bwack wabby or maybe one like that cute widdle bwown wabby over there?" She in turn blushes, rocks on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and says in a quiet voice, "I don't fink my pet python weally gives a thit."