Predator Jokes / Recent Jokes

In The United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B19293, Judge Lance Ito, PresidingWile E. Coyote, Plaintiff-vs. - Acme Company, DefendantOpening statement of Mr. Harold Schoff, attorney for Mr. Coyote: My client, Mr. Wile E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district, and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result of the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, more...

WILE E. COYOTE, Plaintiff v. s. THE ACME COMPANY, INC., Defendant In the United States District Court, Southwestern District, Tempe, Arizona Case No. B191294, Judge Joan Kujava, Presiding Plaintiff, Mr. Wiley E. Coyote, a resident of Arizona and contiguous states, does hereby bring suit for damages against the Acme Company, manufacturer and retail distributor of assorted merchandise, incorporated in Delaware and doing business in every state, district and territory. Mr. Coyote seeks compensation for personal injuries, loss of business income, and mental suffering caused as a direct result the actions and/or gross negligence of said company, under Title 15 of the United States Code, Chapter 47, section 2072, subsection (a), relating to product liability. Mr. Coyote states that on eighty-five separate occasions he has purchased of the Acme Company (hereinafter, "Defendant"), through that company's mail-order department, certain products which did cause him bodily injury due to more...

After learning that the world's largest invertebrate is not a fast andvoracious predator as previously thought, Disney studios will remake Jules Verne's underwater classic, turning it into the story of a daring young plumber in "20,000 Leaks Under the Sink."

* This is a good reminder, for all of us. You can never read this
too many times!!
1. Tip from police: The elbow is the strongest point on your body. If you are close enough, USE IT!
2. If a robber asks for your wallet and/or purse, DO NOT HAND IT TO HIM. Toss it away from you....chances are that he is more
interested in your wallet and/or purse than you and he will go for the wallet/purse. RUN LIKE MAD IN THE OTHER DIRECTION!
3. If you are ever thrown into the trunk of a car: Kick out the back tail lights and stick your arm out the hole and start waving like crazy. The driver won't see you but everybody else will. This has
saved lives.
4. Women have a tendency to get into their car after shopping, eating, working, etc., and just sit (doing their checkbook, or making a list, etc.) DON'T DO THIS! The predator will be watching you and this is the perfect opportunity for him to get in on the passenger side, put a gun to your head, and tell you where to more...

NBC’s sting-operation show “To Catch a Predator” has been making advertisers uneasy. They're worried about being associated with a show in which men are lured to a house by the promise of an underage sexual encounter but are instead caught by the show's host and local police.

Well I've got a show concept that will make everyone happy. The premise is this: There are a lot of child molesters out there, but there are also a lot of underage terrorists.

So if you’re a sexual predator, hang out in the jihad chat rooms and pretend you’re interested in coordinating a terror attack. Arrange a meeting with an aspiring young terrorist, and when he gets there, the NBC folks and Homeland Security will nab him.

Embarrassed, the teen will protest that he came for terrorism, not sex, claiming, "He told me he wanted to buy nerve gas, but when I got there all he wanted was sex!"

The molester will counter, “Hey, I'm just helping the War on more...