Previously Jokes / Recent Jokes

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. ..
Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved ungulate, Original: Had a very shiny nose. ..
Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a nasal appendage of a maroon lustre. Original: And if you ever saw him. ..
Translation: Consequently, if circumstances were to present themselves that he ever came into your view, Original: You would even say it glows. ..
Translation: You would most undoubtedly remark at to its illuminary qualities. Original: All of the other reindeer. ..
Translation: The multitude of other members of the population in his ecological community, Original: Used to laugh and call him names. ..
Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms - the objective of which was to lower his self-esteem and make him miserable. Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. ..
Translation: They also excluded him from participation in leisure more...

Abbreviation #1: whrthfckuben?
Previously long phrase: "Goodness, it's been a long time since we've chatted, hasn't it?"

Abbreviation #2: utypliksht
Previously long phrase: "Say, have you heard that there is a new Evelyn Wood's speed-typing course?"

Abbreviation #3: ugoturhdupyrass?
Previously long phrase: "Are you sure about that?"

Abbreviation #4: sowenugtoutofjail?
Previously long phrase: "So, what have you been up to lately, Bugs?"

Abbreviation #5: tkurabbrevsandshuvem
Previously long phrase: "Wouldn't you rather just type the whole phrase out?"

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Editor's Note: Sound' em out...

Wayne went to the pet store to buy a parrot. One bird caught his eye: previously owned, it was especially handsome and he purchased it. As soon as the bird was settled on its perch, Wayne went to the cupboard.
"You want a cracker?" he asked, holding out a Saltine.
The bird looked at the snack. "What are you, stupid? And blind? You think I keep my feathers rich by eating crackers, you moron? I want pate' and I want it now, asshole!"
Shocked by this unprovoked abuse, Wayne returned to the pet store and walked up to the proprietor.
"Just who owned that bird before me anyway?!"... he demanded.
"Didn't I tell you?" the proprietor said. "You are the owner of a bird that once belonged to John McEnroe."

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. ..
Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved ungulate,
Original: Had a very shiny nose. ..
Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a nasal appendage of a maroon lustre.
Original: And if you ever saw him. ..
Translation: Consequently, if circumstances were to present themselves that he
ever came into your view,
Original: You would even say it glows. ..
Translation: You would most undoubtedly remark at to its illuminary qualities.
Original: All of the other reindeer. ..
Translation: The multitude of other members of the population in his
ecological community,
Original: Used to laugh and call him names. ..
Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him
unspeakable pseudonyms -- the objective of which was to lower his self-esteem
and make him miserable.
Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. ..
Translation: They more...

Acronym: whrthfckuben?
Previously long phrase: "Goodness, it's been a long time since we've chatted, hasn't it?"
Acronym: utypliksht
Previously long phrase: "Say, have you heard that there is a new Evelyn Wood's speed-typing course?"
Acronym: ugoturhdupyrass?
Previously long phrase: "Are you sure about that?"
Acronym: sowenugtoutofjail?
Previously long phrase: "So, what have you been up to lately, Bugs?"
Acronym: tkurabbrevsandshuvem
Previously long phrase: "Wouldn't you rather just type the whole phrase out?"
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