Red-nosed Jokes

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer. ..
Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved ungulate, Original: Had a very shiny nose. ..
Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a nasal appendage of a maroon lustre. Original: And if you ever saw him. ..
Translation: Consequently, if circumstances were to present themselves that he ever came into your view, Original: You would even say it glows. ..
Translation: You would most undoubtedly remark at to its illuminary qualities. Original: All of the other reindeer. ..
Translation: The multitude of other members of the population in his ecological community, Original: Used to laugh and call him names. ..
Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms - the objective of which was to lower his self-esteem and make him miserable. Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games. ..
Translation: They also excluded him from participation in leisure more...

Teddy the red-nosed senator
Had a very shiny car
And if you ever saw it
You were probably at a bar.
All of the other senators
Wondered how he got his dames
They thought he drank too many
To play in any bedroom games.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say:
"Teddy with your nose so red,
Won't you help me guide my sled?"
That's how the police found them
Wrapped around a maple tree
Teddy the red-nosed senator
He's a drunken S. O. B.

Teddy the red-nosed senator
Had a very shiny car
And if you ever saw it
You were probably at a bar.
All of the other senators
Wondered how he got his dames
They thought he drank too many
To play in any bedroom games.
Then one foggy Christmas Eve,
Santa came to say:
"Teddy with your nose so red,
Won't you help me guide my sled?"
That's how the police found them
Wrapped around a maple tree
Teddy the red-nosed senator
He's a drunken S.O.B.

Original: Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer...
Translation: Rudolph was a four-hooved ungulate,
Original: Had a very shiny nose...
Translation: Who, incidentally, possessed a nasal appendage of a maroon lustre.
Original: And if you ever saw him...
Translation: Consequently, if circumstances were to present themselves that he ever came into your view,
Original: You would even say it glows...
Translation: You would most undoubtedly remark at to its illuminary qualities.
Original: All of the other reindeer...
Translation: The multitude of other members of the population in his ecological community,
Original: Used to laugh and call him names...
Translation: Had previously teased, chuckled boisterously, and dubbed him unspeakable pseudonyms - the objective of which was to lower his self-esteem and make him miserable.
Original: They never let poor Rudolph join in any reindeer games...
Translation: They also excluded him from participation in more...

One day a man is up on his soap box telling blonde jokes. A large crowd has gathered around him and are laughing hysterically at every line, most of which he probably took off of this website. A blonde walks up to him and starts yelling at him, "You know, not all blondes are as dumb as you make us out to be."
Taken aback by this he says, "Fine. If you can answer three questions, I'll pack it up and never tell another blonde joke." She agrees and he starts the questioning.
"Ok, I'll give you an easy one first. What are the colors of the flag of the United States of America?"
"That's easy," she replies, "Red, white, and blue."
"Not bad, I've had some blondes screw that one up. OK, next question. Who wrote the play 'A Midsummer Night's Dream'?"
"At this rate you better start packing up and leaving. That is by William Shakespeare," she retorts
"Impressive. Ok, third and final question. How more...